6 Sneaky Ways Social Media Will End A Marriage, If You're Not Careful
Don't let social media ruin an IRL relationship.
Johnce | Canva People feel bolder behind a screen than in person; most think there is a disconnect between their online activities and real-world lives. People type and press 'Send' faster than common sense can kick in, rather than rationally thinking about what they're doing.
This is a recipe for disaster, and it happens at quantum speed on social media. Based on our work in this field, here are the top ways spouses wreck their marriages by using social media.
Here are six sneaky ways social media will end a marriage if you're not careful:
1. Traipsing down memory lane with an ex-flame
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Finding an old crush, hook-up, or boyfriend/girlfriend online is easy. Reaching out to a past love interest and reminiscing about the "good 'ol times" recalls the feelings for one or both of the people. The longer the jaunt down memory lane, the better the chances are that an emotional or physical affair will occur.
2. Letting social media dominate every waking moment of your day
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The smartphone allows people to be a few thumb clicks away from social media, and access their feed anyplace, anytime. This in turn can feed an addictive personality, and create a co-dependency with sites.
Comparing the new and exciting information people are posting online, with the drab and boring events from one's real-time existence can create all kinds of problems. Research from 2020 found that too much social media hurts our mental health.
3. Airing dirty laundry via social media
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Not every thought needs to be posted online. Relationships have good times and bad times. Using social media to announce marriage problems, debate marital issues, or rant about a spouse is only going to make a conflicted relationship more "complicated."
4. Over-sharing relationship problems with others through DM
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Divulging marital issues through a private, real-time interaction with someone other than your spouse creates intimacy with that person. Depending on the motives of one or both people in the chat session, the conversation can quickly evolve from sharing about a current, bad marriage to setting a foundation for starting a new relationship.
5. Flirting or leaving comments under posted photos
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Commenting is a part of social media culture. Watching what you post (and how it comes across to others) is part of online etiquette; it's essential to ensure that comments are not inappropriate. Flirting with no one but your spouse is a part of fulfilling the wedding vows, yet is often conveniently forgotten while using social media.
6. Following people who directly or indirectly threaten your marriage
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Depending on who the people in your past and current life are, this could be a good thing or a bad thing. If the person you've just followed hurts your marriage, it can lead to irreparable damage to your relationship. These people include but are not limited to exes, negative influences, flirts, wacky family members, and crude friends.
Social media is not going away. It has become a primary means of daily communication for people and is a vital part of our daily lives.
Therefore, social media needs to be a regular discussion item for couples. In addition to following exes and sharing passwords, other topics to incorporate into the conversation include personal guard rails, online boundaries for your relationship, and accountability.
One 2014 study found that social media use was cited as a reason for divorce in one-third of all cases surveyed. Whatever it takes, don't let what happens on social media ruin your marriage.
K Jason And Kelli Krafsky are marriage educators who are regularly featured on TV, radio, and podcast shows and quoted in newspaper, magazine, and blog articles, including The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The New York Post, The Washington Times, Philadelphia Inquirer, Martha Stewart Living Radio, and more.