Why You Should Never Stop Looking For Love

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We've all heard it at some point on our search for love: "Love shows up when you least expect it." So, this means we should stop looking for love in order to find it. What if we applied this advice to other goals we have in our lives and the world?

Your ideal job will show up when you least expect it. You'll lose 20lbs when you least expect it. The dishwasher will repair itself when you least expect it. Our marital problems will resolve themselves when we least expect it. World peace will arrive when we least expect it. This philosophy begins to seem a little ridiculous, doesn't it? 

And yet, we're all sold this ridiculous myth from a very young age that one day we'll bump into the love of our life and magically we'll know how to make it last. How's that working for you?

We know it isn't going well for most of you ... and it didn't happen for us that way either. We are all told that if we want a great career we have to set goals and work at it. If we want to be healthy, fit, and in shape, we have to be intentional, eat consciously, and be purposeful about it. 

Yet, the most important thing of all — love, is constantly sold to us as a myth. We are told that everything will fall into place accidentally and magically.

Love, like anything we desire in our lives, takes intentional action. We can't expect it to happen by reading more articles on the internet. We can't expect it to happen by sitting at home and visualizing our ideal mate and then turning on the TV and vegging out for the night. We can't expect it to happen when we least expect it.

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So, we're here to show you the way. Taking purposeful action will get you out of the rut you find yourself in and get you moving towards the love you desire.

How To Bust The Myth

If you have decided that now is the time to get purposeful and intentional about love, here is a list of things that you can do:

• Take an inventory of past relationships. How long did it last? Who initiated the break-up? Rate your attraction/attachment on a scale of 1-10. Look for any patterns that you see repeated.
• Clear out any attachments to anyone from the past. Release them. Forgive them. Heal your heart. Move on. Holding onto the past will keep you stuck in the past.
• Make a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Focus on who they and their values are rather than how they look or what they have. Now be completely honest with yourself — Do you have this quality? (We can only attract what we ourselves possess.)
• See yourself with your soul mate. What does it feel like to be together? Imagine and believe that you already have what you desire.
•  Do something different. Take a class, go to a new restaurant, try a new online dating site, or go on an adventure. In order to get something you've never had you have to do something you've never done.

These are just a few tools for you to begin thinking differently about how you create love.

It is helpful to start noticing what your limiting beliefs are about, what is available to you, and changing these thoughts to positive ones. For example, if you discover that you believe that "All men will cheat," you can change that to, "The men I love are loving me respectfully."

"All the good ones are taken," can become "My Beloved is on his way to me now." and "No one will love me for who I am," transforms to "I am worthy to receive all the love I desire." 3 Factors That Stop A Man From Seeing A Woman As Marriage Material, According To Psychology

How To Get Unstuck

We are perplexed that many people feel that if you "create love" it somehow isn't romantic; that if it didn't happen magically and by accident that it is somehow fake or inauthentic. Nothing can be further from the truth! Each of us "creates" love. 4 Steps To Turn Your Date Into A Loving Relationship

We learned how to receive love at a very young age. Some experts call this your Love Script. We say that each of us is Imprinted with what love feels like to us. We go through our life looking to receive love in the same way. Maybe your father only gave you affection when you achieved something and now you feel like you have to prove your worthiness for love.

Maybe your mother was sick and you had to take care of her and now you are resentful that you give too much in relationships. Maybe you were told by your parents that your feelings didn't matter, and now struggle with expressing yourself and asking for what you need. 

There are infinite ways we learn to receive love. However, that doesn't mean that we have to be stuck in repeating our patterns. Recognizing these patterns and learning effective communication tools will transform your relationships.

In order to do things differently when it comes to love, you have to let go of the old way that is not serving you, release your imprinting, and choose again with the conscious understanding of an adult. 

Can you do this work on your own? Yes, although it will require a lot of trial and error. If this was easy to do, you would have figured it out by now. The reality is that in order to accomplish this effectively, the help of a professional is priceless.

This is exactly why we have gathered together 25 top experts in Love, Dating, Sex, Relationships — everything you need to bust this myth in one global online event — the Love On Purpose Revolution. Join us this spring and get the tools you need to have happy, healthy, loving relationships. You may even learn how to attract your soul mate and make it last.

To Read Great Love Advice:

• Why Can't I Find A Relationship?
• 10 Unmistakable Ways To Tell If A Man Is Completely In Love With You
• 3 Mistakes You May Make When Looking For Love

Got questions about online dating? Tune in next week when YourTango Experts presents Online Dating Bootcamp, a 14-day intensive about online dating featuring articles from your favorite YourTango Experts, including Joe Amoia, Laurie Davis, Rick Clemons, Larry Cappel, Julianne Canatrella and many more!