Couples Who Are Truly Ready For Marriage Usually Share These 11 Traits
If you both have these things, walking down the aisle will feel like the easy part.
FabrikaSimf | Shutterstock Once you've spent a good amount of time in a relationship, you might start asking yourself if it's time to get married. There is nothing magical about getting hitched — it only enhances healthy relationships and makes destructive ones even worse. Relationships are complex. That's why couples who are truly ready to get married don't just hope it will work — they already have the habits, respect, and trust that make marriage worth saying yes to.
Being ready for marriage is about both partners taking full responsibility for their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health while showing up for each other in meaningful ways. When two people share these traits, they’re ready for the marriage that follows. There is no such thing as getting married and happily living ever after without intention and effort. When you both live according to your words, you're more likely to enjoy a harmonious long-term commitment to each other.
Couples who are truly ready for marriage usually share these 11 traits:
1. You love and respect yourselves (and each other)
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Before you can have a healthy relationship, you need to respect yourself. Respecting yourself requires you to care for yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Are you taking the time to eat good food, exercise, relax, enjoy meaningful work, and have time for yourself, your friends, and your family? Are you following your dreams? Are you doing things that bring you joy? Are you facing your challenges and getting the help you need?
If you are treating yourself well, you are more likely to attract another person who is honoring themselves. When you treat yourself well, you increase your chances of having a healthier and happier relationship.
A happy and healthy couple who come together create the conditions for a deep, lasting relationship.
2. You can fully be yourself around them
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A healthy relationship gives you all the space you need to be yourself. You can let your guard down and not worry about upsetting your partner. You don’t have to watch what you say.
You don’t need to put on an act, watch every word, or hide parts of who you are. There’s trust, safety, and the freedom to show up as your real self.
3. You've figured out a fair way to share responsibilities
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Any good relationship requires a willingness from both of you to share the duties of daily life. Research shows that couples who buddy up to do at least three chores together tend to feel happier and more connected than those who keep strict boundaries between tasks. It doesn’t mean you have to share everything. But it does mean that you need to ensure that the division of tasks feels fair to both parties.
If you are living together, it is helpful for you to come to a consensus on the cleanliness standards for your home. Acknowledge that you will have different standards. Agree on what practice will honor you both.
4. You have friends together, and friends apart
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Whether or not you are single or in a relationship, you need friends. No human being can meet all our needs — not even the person we think to be the most amazing friend in the world.
It is excellent to have shared friends, and science proves that couples who enjoy strong mutual friendships tend to feel a lot happier in their relationships. Studies show that these friendships contribute up to 47 percent of women’s happiness and 37 percent of men’s happiness. It’s a great reminder of how important friendships can be for relationship satisfaction.
It is also essential to have your own friends. Friends are not only there to have fun, but they can also help you process issues that you may be having with your partner.
You love your shared circle, but you also have your own friendships that keep you grounded and supported. Trust is strong enough that outside friendships don’t feel threatening.
5. You genuinely enjoy each other's company
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Good relationships require time. If you don’t take the time to build a strong relationship, conflicts will get out of hand.
You need to take time to talk so you can let each other know what is going on inside you, play and bring out the inner child in you both, and build intimacy that is full of love, kindness, and respect. Intimacy can never be forced.
Find activities that you both enjoy doing, such as sports, hiking, walking, gardening, traveling, and all sorts of things. Enjoy the time being with each other, even when you are doing different activities.
6. You don’t take yourselves too seriously
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A good sense of humor will bring you a long way. It helps you to observe the interactions between each other and laugh together instead of cursing each other.
When you experience conflict, a sense of humor can help you rise above your differences of opinion. It can help you to see the humanity within each other.
When you don’t take yourself too seriously, you are better able to see that most differences of opinion are not the end of the world. With calm minds, there are ways to work through the issues.
7. You communicate openly and honestly
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You talk face-to-face, listen to understand, and read each other’s tone and body language because couples who communicate openly and positively often find that their marriage becomes more satisfying and fulfilling as time goes on. You feel heard, and so do they.
Communications are always important. You need to sit together, looking each other in the face, to communicate.
When we communicate, we don’t just do it with words; we do it through our body language, our tone of voice, and the energy we give off. We gain insight into what others are going through by paying attention to the sensations, emotions, and thoughts that come from within us. Our partners do the same with us.
8. You can work through conflict without blowing up
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You are going to have conflict. Conflict happens every time there are differences of opinion, but it doesn’t mean you have to have a loud fight. Long-term couples say listening, avoiding unnecessary drama, and clear communication make up nearly 43% of the tactics that help them get through tough spots.
Disputes must be confronted in quiet ways, looking for a solution that satisfies both.
A healthy relationship requires you to be open with each other when there are different points of view. You need to honor yourself. Don’t give in quickly because you don’t like conflict. It is important to take time to find a solution that you can both live with.
9. There's still passion and excitement between you
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Passion and excitement are important. If you're truly ready for marriage, you'll feel drawn to each other, both physically and emotionally. That spark hasn't fizzled — it’s still part of what makes your relationship special.
If you don’t feel energy drawing you toward your partner, he might not be the right person to marry.
10. You make time for fun
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A relationship without fun will run into trouble quickly. Studies show that couples who genuinely enjoy playful time together not only feel closer but also report significantly higher satisfaction, commitment, and friendship in their partnership.
You balance planned activities with spontaneous moments, keeping the relationship fresh. Fun isn’t optional — it's part of how you stay connected.
Some of you like to plan while others like spontaneity. If you're having trouble finding the balance, try planned spontaneity. Then, pick one of you to surprise the other with a night out or at home.
The important thing is that you take the time to enjoy being together.
11. You push each other to grow
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The greatest gift we can give each other in a relationship is the promise to bring out the best in each other. This means helping your partner follow their dreams, even if it makes life inconvenient for you. Research shows that offering emotional or practical encouragement can really boost both their success and the satisfaction you feel in your relationship.
It means challenging them with kindness if you see them getting into trouble.
Maybe you sense they are getting depressed. Perhaps your partner is sick and they are not going to the doctor. So, you might need to insist they get some help.
Maybe you see them in a job that is sucking the life out of them. A loving response would be to encourage them to find a job that suits them better.
Maybe they have a dream that they are scared to try and go for.
Give your loved one the gift of encouragement and allow your partner to do the same for you.
A healthy relationship before marriage is one where you can be yourself, laugh often, work through disagreements without tearing each other down, and still make time for fun and connection with friends, both together and apart.
You trust each other, respect yourselves, and support one another’s growth, knowing that conflict is just an opportunity to deepen your bond.
When two emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy people choose to commit, they create a partnership that not only survives but thrives — and that’s when couples know they are truly ready for marriage.
Roland Legge is an Identity Coach who is here to help you have better relationships that bring out the best in you. You can join his private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice, and/or get your Free Online Enneagram Test.
