3 Unexciting Signs A Man Really Loves You, According To Psychology
The 'boring' love signs that are anything but.
Delmaine Donson | Canva Each of us is born with the desire to be loved and cared for. It's something that never goes away. We may lose our hair and the figure of our youth, but the need and desire for love doesn't diminish with time. As Frank A. Clark says: "A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.”
Of course, there are more than three ways to know if you are loved more than you think, but I like these three because they are the building blocks of a strong, committed relationship.
Here are three unexciting signs a man really loves you, according to psychology:
1. You fight well together
This means you know how to disagree with each other without causing irreparable damage to the other person, as outlined by the Journal of Family Psychology. In other words, you don't threaten to break up or walk out just to get your way. You don't use cruelty as a weapon to hurt the other person.
We all say things in anger at times that aren't pretty, and we regret them, but it needs to be a rare event and not a pattern of fighting. The Journal of Family Issues supports how being able to disagree and discuss differences with respect and openness is necessary for a happy relationship.
2. You feel safe
Dr. Phil says it best when he refers to your partner as "a soft place to fall." God knows dealing with everyday frustrations and the instability of the world is stressful enough. We don't need any added pressure from those closest to us. If you can't feel safe to be you and express yourself in your relationship, you're probably not feeling true love. Love can't grow unless it is nurtured with kindness.
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3. You accept each other as you are
An important indication of true love is when you can stop judging the person you're with and see them as a unique individual with their frailties and quirks. Judgment is one of the biggest destroyers of love and connection, as demonstrated in a study by the American Psychological Association on spousal behavior and criticism. Mother Teresa said it best, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." When you judge another, the tendency is to want to change them. This is a way we tell ourselves we're right and the other person is wrong. If you want to be right about everything, you will never be happy.
What are three ways you can be sure you are loved more than you think? How about three words, "You just know!"
Accepting the full intensity of his love has a special feeling about it, a sense of non-attachment. It's a blessing that lets us transcend our ego-based need for love and move into a place of giving love free from selfish motives and unconditional.
Virginia Clark is a relationship coach with decades of experience, and the author of It's Never Too Late to Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams.