7 Tiny Deal-Breakers To Never Overlook In A Relationship, According To Psychology
Repeat after us: "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."
antoniodiaz | Shutterstock Everyone deserves a fair shake, and sometimes that includes letting him have another try on a second date. But certain first-date behaviors should never be overlooked and are almost always signs of bad things to come. A first date is, for most people, the first time they're meeting this person.
It's understandable to be nervous and a little shy, and those things can be forgiven, but if they keep acting intolerable, it may be just because they're intolerable and you should run for the hills.
Here are 7 deal-breakers to never overlook in a relationship, according to psychology:
1. He's rude to the waitstaff
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How he treats other people—especially people he doesn't know—is a great indicator of the level of kindness and respect he'll show you down the road. After all, as author Dave Barry says, "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."
2. He's critical of what you eat
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So what that you think french fries and a milkshake make a complete meal? On a first date, there's no place for verbal judgment that only serves to make you uncomfortable as you wait for the check. No one has the right to judge you for what you eat, especially some random guy.
3. He can't stop talking about his ex
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If she sounds so lovely you can't quite tell why they called it quits, consider it a serious red flag he's still got it bad or isn't ready to get it on with you. Likewise, if he's ragging on her, it's a sign of immaturity on top of all of that.
4. He won't put down his phone
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As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How rude!" Unless your date's been interrupted by a real emergency text — not a fake bad date escape plan — the only thing he should be staring at is you.
5. He's late, without a valid excuse
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Car trouble? Totally understandable. But if he "lost track of the time," that's a clear sign he doesn't value yours.
6. He has no table manners
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If you can't picture bringing home a guy who eats a chicken breast with his bare hands to Mom and Dad, where, exactly, could this relationship be headed?
A new study has suggested that traditional table manners are dying out, with Gen Z leading the charge on a much more relaxed approach to dining out. The research indicates over half (60%) of Gen Z believe traditional table manners are no longer relevant, with over a third (38%) admitting to using their phones at the table and over three-quarters (77%) saying they do not care about cutlery politics.
7. He only talks about himself
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Self-absorption is so not attractive. If a first date's all about getting to know one another and yet you feel as if you're sitting through a presentation, sound the alarm and move on.
One study found if one partner feels like they're doing all of the work and the other person is just coasting by, there is a problem. One-sided relationships rarely last; each person has to put in the same effort to work as a partnership.
Jillian Kramer is a freelance writer who focuses on relationships, love advice, and women's health and wellness.