6 Things Women Do On Autopilot That Make Men Unattracted To Them
How women inadvertently scare off men.
Polina Zimmerman | Pexels The only time women should be hard to read is during a poker game or boardroom negotiations. Their first date is not one of those times, and yet so many of them are hard to read. Unless they’re specifically telling their date, “Hey, I like you!” they are often left looking for subtle subconscious cues that tell them how they feel.
They may not even realize it, but they could be giving all the wrong signals. So the next time someone is on a date, and they want to make sure the other person knows they like them, avoid these subtle and subconscious dating turn-offs for men.
Here are things women do on autopilot that make a man unattracted to them:
1. They have closed-off body language
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Women may think that first impressions are built on the words they say, but at least fifty percent of initial connections are based on their body language. So while a man's mind is telling them yes, their body is telling them no.
Be sure to keep open body language. Face your date, even if you're sitting next to each other at a bar, and make sure your body is turned towards them. Keep the arms relaxed — don’t cross, fold, or hold them together for too long. Lean in toward a man when he speaks to show just how much you're listening to what he's saying.
2. They speak in a monotone voice
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After body language, tone of voice accounts for thirty percent of how a potential date relates to their date. Adding peaks and valleys to the way someone relates information makes them sound more interested in what they’re saying and in what they have to say.
This doesn’t mean keeping a high, energy-filled tone of voice throughout the date. It just means that adding variety to the tone of voice and even matching your date’s tone will make them feel more comfortable and make you seem more approachable.
While higher, more variable pitch voices can be attractive, monotone voices, particularly in women, are not generally associated with heightened attractiveness. Some studies suggest that men may prefer lower-pitched voices, including in women. Conversely, women are more likely to modulate their voice pitch, speaking higher and less monotonously towards men they are attracted to, especially those perceived as less desirable by other women.
3. They answer questions in a vague fashion
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Connections are made in the details. When women give brief or general answers to questions, they give off the impression that they are not interested. It’s not easy for everyone to share the details of their life, but it’s necessary when dating.
Run through answering common dating questions with friends, colleagues, or in the mirror until one becomes more comfortable. Be prepared with stories to tell. Sharing takes practice, but it’s in the sharing that you'll connect with others.
4. They have a permanent scowl
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I know, I know. Women have been told to smile all their lives. They’ve accepted it into their lives. And for some, smiling isn’t their thing. But hey, when you don’t smile, they give the impression that you’re not having a good time.
Research suggests that men can find a permanent scowl unattractive due to a combination of psychological factors. An unpleasant expression can be interpreted as negative, leading to assumptions of other undesirable traits and impacting initial impressions.
5. They use absolutes
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Using words like “have to,” “right now,” “never,” and “can’t” when it applies to circumstances in life and reaching their goal vs. being in a relationship, conveys that you're not ready or open to a relationship. You may not even realize you do this, but using those words may be sabotaging their dates.
6. They set a negative tone
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Some women have been at this dating thing for so long with no success that they come off as bitter, or they feel like they deserve more. Maybe they’re not as confident as they were when they started their search for love, and in their recent encounters, it shows in their tone.
Research suggests that a negative tone can be unattractive because it can signal negative traits, affect cognitive processing, and lead to misunderstandings. A consistently negative tone might signal hostility or negative personality traits. This can influence how someone is perceived, potentially leading to lower ratings of attractiveness.
Avoid self-loathing, or rehashing bad dates (also known as complaining) about their dating life with new people. Listen to what they say to their dates and what they’re saying to themself. Scan for negativity and leave it at the door.
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