5 Things Guys Find 'Silly' In Relationships — But Keep Love Flowing Forever
Love can't grow without being fed.
KIRAYONAK YULIYA / shutterstock Marriage can be a wonderful, uplifting relationship that provides joy and contentment, companionship and understanding. Relationships can also become a source of conflict, as many long-time married couples know all too well.
So, what does it take to keep the love flowing in a marriage?
Every marriage will have some bumps and hurdles along the way. In any partnership, both parties must be vested and participating for a successful connection to existing with longevity and depth. While both men and women can ignore or dismiss important aspects of relationships, the below list gives an observation of a trend with husbands, and not a rule.
Many women incorporate these same expressions into their relationships too. What really works best is when both individuals make space for these seemingly small things that keep marriages going strong for many years to come.
Here are five awesome things that husbands do to keep the love flowing in their marriage
1. They thank their wives for the little things and the big things
In an age where women and men are working equally as much, and where childcare, home chores, and even parental care are split in some way that seems to make sense, we can tend to take normal everyday things for granted. We are inclined to fall into varied roles and routines based on our schedules and often, unspoken expectations. Even if Tuesday happens to be her designated day to make dinner, or take out the trash, when a husband thanks her for doing so, it keeps mutual respect and appreciation going.
Husbands who also thank their wives for big things like being in his life, going through pregnancy and labor, coordinating home repairs, or moving to another town to support his career, all keep the relationship on the upswing. Being grateful and expressing that appreciation for who their wives are and what they contribute — beyond finances — is a tried-and-true mechanism to keep the love flowing.
2. They understand their wife's love language
Husbands who take the time to learn their own and their spouse’s love language — preferences toward physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, words of positivity, or acts of service — can go a long way to reaching and staying connected to their wives’ hearts. Even if their wives’ love language differs from their own, these men consciously pepper their weeks with one or more ways their wives enjoy receiving love.
These husbands also offer light nudges and acknowledgment when their wives show them expressions of their husband’s love language too.
3. They laugh with their wife
Life can be busy — with hobbies, work, school, kids, and schedules. We can get into a rut and lose our sense of humor. Husbands who keep their love flowing in a relationship remember what it was that brought them together — what amazing qualities and silly characteristics made their hearts melt at the beginning of their relationships. They highlight and remind their wives how they were swept off their feet and what continues to make their souls smile knowing that they’re together.
Lightheartedness and the ability to laugh with another person are rewarding on all levels. Keeping a sense of humor and letting go of the seriousness of life keeps the love energy overflowing. Life is supposed to be sprinkled, if not majorly consumed with fun — and these husbands find ways to laugh with the partner they’ve chosen to spend their lives with.
4. They love themselves
When a husband wants to explore greater depths of love with the wife he adores, he plunges deeper into his own inner work, so he can love his beloved even more. They know that our ability to love someone else is limited only by the depth of love we have for ourselves. This self-love includes taking steps to recover from past trauma. These husbands take responsibility to heal themselves and do not look to their wives to accommodate or fix them.
Husbands who aren’t afraid to do their inner exploration know that when we love ourselves, we indirectly love those around us or those connected to us. They understand that to grow the relationship, a continual step can be to deepen their relationship with themselves. These husbands commit to personal development and collaboration to create a stronger connection with the woman they love.
5. They talk positively about their wives when they’re not there
It may not be a widely known fact but when we have a thought about another person, that person experiences an indiscernible physical response. This undetectable physical response happens to all of us when we are thought about – we feel that someone is thinking about us even if it’s unconscious.
Speaking kindly about their wives is another way husbands let their wives know they are loved. When husbands talk with others about their wives, they remind themselves how fortunate they are, and highlight some of the great qualities their wives have, even if they’re having a disagreement.
Per the idiom, “A little love goes a long way,” we see how small, seemingly silly acts of love can forever positively imprint a heartful connection with our spouses. If you already have one of these husbands in your life, be sure to acknowledge this fact, reciprocate his thoughtfulness, and feel your heart fill up with pure goodness. If you are one of these husbands – yay you and thank you for modeling loving patterns for others to learn from.
And if you feel you or your husband lack these qualities, don’t worry — with some communication, a wee bit of effort and feedback, together you and your partner can add a level of depth, satisfaction, fun and joy to your relationship.
Pamela Aloia is a certified grief coach and an author helping people become better versions of themselves through individual sessions, energy work, meditation, and more.