Therapist Warns That There Are Only Two Dynamics That Can Work In A Long-Term Marriage Between A Man & Woman
Women shouldn’t sell themselves short by staying in a relationship that simply doesn’t work.
Srdjan Randjelovic / Shutterstock A marriage and family therapist made a remarkable observation about the three main relationship dynamics between men and women, claiming only two can work in the long run.
The therapist warned her patients about one particular relationship dynamic that rarely lasts.
Jamie, who goes by @lotsofjamie on TikTok, posted the video, which was reposted by @_queenspeak. Jamie said her therapist had been doing marriage and family therapy and individual counseling for 30 years. Within her experience, the therapist learned of the only two dynamics that will last in a long-term relationship.
“She said the couple can be equally in love with each other; that’s a dynamic that will last,” Jamie reiterated. “She said the man can be more in love with the woman, like madly more in love. She said that’s a match that will work.”
The therapist revealed that the matches that “always fail” are when the woman is more in love with the man.
“The reason for this is men who are madly in love will do the sacrifice, changes, listening, communication, and work of being in a relationship long-term,” Jamie explained. “Women actually do that work regardless of how in love they are … Men will only do it if they’re madly, deeply, and head over heels in love.”
The therapist’s observation seems to align perfectly with the specific challenges of many relationships. Oftentimes, straight couples resort to therapy at the woman’s request, typically due to a lack of effort from her husband.
The therapist stakes a claim about a woman’s unconditional love and dedication in a relationship.
While every relationship is different and experiences its own unique challenges, one of the most common reasons men and women get divorced is because of a lack of effort from the man. While women can still be emotionally invested in their relationships despite a lack of love, men simply can’t fake something they don’t truly feel.
And women have noticed this pattern in men for decades.
“My grandma told me this when I was about 15,” one person commented on the video. “She said to marry a man who loved me a little more than I loved him. I’ve been happily married for 19 years. Her advice seems to have worked.”
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“My mom and dad were together for over 40 years,” someone else commented. “My dad loved my mom more than my mom loved him.”
“It physically pains me when I see relationships where clearly the woman is in love, and he’s just a receiver... you see it a mile away,” another person shared.
Unfortunately, this dynamic is a lot more common than many people realize, and women will force themselves to stay in a relationship where they don’t truly feel valued because they don’t know otherwise.
Women must be mindful of this observation and pay attention to the way their partners show up in their relationships.
Jamie said discovering this reality from her therapist made her feel sad for women, realizing that they tend to put more work and effort into their relationships than men do when it comes to the level of love they feel.
While men tend to only value their wives when they are heavily in love, women value their partners because they recognize it’s the only valid way to be in a relationship.
Unfortunately, this pattern has led to countless unfair relationship dynamics, where the woman does everything for her man, whether he reciprocates the energy or not, because she loves him unconditionally. Meanwhile, the men who lack unconditional love for their wives mindlessly receive their wives’ desperate attempts and efforts, not realizing just how lucky they are to be so loved.
No woman should stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t love them, and no woman should force themselves to love a man they don’t truly love simply because that man loves them more.
Of course, what works for some may not work for others, but women deserve so much better than they give themselves credit for. They must band together and empower each other to recognize their worth and walk away from any situations or relationships that don’t truly serve them.
There are men out there who are capable of loving unconditionally, but if a woman stays in a relationship that she'll never feel valued in, she'll miss the opportunity to experience a fulfilling and loving relationship.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.