10 Signs Someone Will Be A Nightmare To Date, According To Psychology
These people are their own worst enemy when it comes to dating.
Dean Drobot | Canva Whether we like to admit it or not, we've all met at least one person who seemed to have no self-awareness whatsoever. These people are the ones who just don't fully understand why the person they like won't call them, add them on social media, or ask them out. However, almost everyone else around them can see why with ease.
For many of us, our greatest nightmare is being that person — if only because it often means we are acting so out of line we should be embarrassed by ourselves. The sad thing is you might be pushing people away without realizing it. In your quest to learn how to get a person to like you, if any of these things are true, you may just be a nightmare to date — and your own worst enemy.
Here are the signs someone will be a nightmare to date:
1. They act like they're doing you a favor just by talking to you
There is absolutely nothing wrong with rejecting a person you aren't into or just cutting a conversation short because they are not your type. However, a good way to push away everyone is to act like you're too good for them, chide them, or condescendingly talk to them.
Even if you're interested in them, the moment they see you behave this way with someone, they'll likely bail.
2. They try to hide their hate for others, but you can feel the energy
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Ever met a person who hated others with a passion? It doesn't take too long to figure out who they are.
Even if they are trying to restrain themselves, that hate does bubble through, as supported by research from The Journal of Relationships. And if you can pick up when people are filled with hate, people will pick up on you hating them.
3. They go from 0 to 100 real quick
When someone rejects you, do you flip out at them? Do you feel like you have to make a scene or lash out at them to "teach them a lesson"?
Trust me when I say that, while I can understand why you would want to do this, I know for a fact word will travel about you doing this. And, in turn, will make people avoid you, and will end up getting you the unstable label in the local dating scenes.
4. They have an explosive temper
Even if you aren't flipping out at the person, most people are terrified of an angry person. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggested when they see anger issues, they will assume the worst about you when it comes to dating.
5. They are hard to talk to or act inappropriately
If you act like a cat in heat or behave like all eyes have to be on you, it's going to be bad. Very bad. As in, you're going to make people run the other way.
6. They have an underlying victim mentality
Do you say you're single because "people only like the promiscuous"? Do you post memes that talk about how no one ever appreciates "good people"?
Sorry to break it to you, but this often means you're a version of the "Nice Guy" and that's not a good look. Playing the victim doesn't get you a relationship, but learning more about secure attachment will, as shown by a study from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
7. They rush into talking about having kids
If you talk about kids and your need for kids on the first date, people will run. Even if they, like you, are desperate for marriage or babies, they will run.
8. They are glued to their phone
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Hang up the phone. Put down the texting brick. You do not need to play Candy Crush so often. If you want people to think you're interested, you'll do something that involves looking at them rather than looking at your phone.
9. They are known for being possessive
Being jealous, especially if it's right off the bat, doesn't make you a good pick. It makes you look clingy because you're acting clingy.
A study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology also suggested possessiveness can be related to being hyper-competitive, and relationships are not a competition.
10. They are all about the drama
If you talk badly about other people, do nothing but gossip, and point out how much you're "not like the others," you're going to scare him away. People don't want more drama in their lives.
After all, they want a life partner, not an episode of a reality TV show. The bottom line is that your attitude is most likely pushing people away.
Be honest with yourself. Would you date you? If not, you've got some work to do.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.