8 Rare Qualities That Set A Woman Apart From Everyone Else, According To Psychology
The traits that make a woman stand out not just in beauty but in depth.
Frank Flores | Unsplash There’s a clear distinction between finding a good woman and finding a great woman you want to impress, wine and dine, and take home to your parents. It’s not about the surface-level traits — those are a dime-a-dozen — but underlying genuine qualities that define her character.
Spotting a special woman with a beautiful soul isn’t always easy. They often possess rare qualities that set them apart from the crowd. More importantly, they encourage certain behaviors out of you and make you feel a certain way.
Here are the rare qualities that set a woman apart from everyone else:
1. She makes you feel scared ... in a good way
Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock
Of losing her, of keeping her, of never being with another woman... the list goes on and on. Are you ready for all this?
What if it crashes and burns like your last relationship? Wait, how did you let this happen again? Yet deep down, you know you’re going for it anyway because she's that special.
2. She makes you bend your own rules
La Famiglia / Shutterstock
“You want to go eat at the vegetarian restaurant? Sure." "And salsa dance afterward? Why not?” When you’re willing to bend your own rules, try new things, and go the extra mile for her — like walking her fluffy, little dog when she’s sick or helping her move when you should be watching the game — chances are, it’s that crazy little thing called love.
While doing whatever it takes to impress can sometimes be a sign of genuine attraction or admiration, it doesn't necessarily indicate someone has set themselves apart in an inherently desirable way. Research suggests that physical attractiveness and perceived availability often influence initial attraction. Excessive effort to impress can sometimes signify insecurity or a lack of genuine connection.
3. She's always on your mind
Yuri A / Shutterstock
With eight seconds left in overtime, she's on your mind.
This line from "Over My Head" by The Fray pretty much sums it up. She comes into your thoughts constantly: “Amber would love this restaurant,” “I wonder what she’s doing?” or “What can I text her without sounding too sprung?” You want her to be thinking of you too, of course, so you make up little excuses to call and say hi.
Thinking about her while hoping and praying she’s thinking about you? Yeah, you’re a goner.
4. She makes you want to be a better man
Q88 / Shutterstock
The stakes are high when you meet a woman that blows your mind. You become more serious and focused on getting your act together and fixing your money situation or hitting the gym. Things that used to dominate your mind just aren't as important anymore.
Yes, the Cubs just lost, (and they better get it together by next season, or you will personally be attending spring training to “strongly encourage” them,) but the sting isn’t quite as bad with her sitting next to you. Besides, her rubbing your shoulder might even make it worth it.
Individuals are drawn to those they admire or perceive as having qualities they aspire to possess. A 2012 study found that if a woman inspires this desire, it could suggest a connection built on respect and admiration.
5. She makes you want to take care of her
Rido / Shutterstock
It’s not just about you anymore. When her boss is working her to death, you help her figure out what to say. If she’s sick, you’re at the store buying soup and crackers. After she gets in a fight with her sister — even though you may have no idea what the fight was really about — you distract her so she can get back to her usual self.
Because when she’s happy and laughing and so alive, there’s just nothing else like it.
6. She makes you want to share all of your good news
Yuri A / Shutterstock
Your friends know her name, her dog’s name, how she likes her eggs... Because when you’re head over heels, you talk about her. A lot. You hold her hand in public and keep your arm around her so no one gets any funny ideas about moving in. She’s pretty special, after all — how exactly did you get her again? — and you want the world to know.
While research doesn't directly link an eagerness to share good news with setting oneself apart, it does emphasize the benefits of sharing and receiving positive news. Sharing good news fosters stronger relationships, increases positive emotions, and can impact a person's well-being. Receiving positive news can lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction.
7. She makes you forget all other women
Branislav Nenin / Shutterstock
“I realized I was in love with Judy as I was checking out another girl,” explains Phil from Los Angeles. “The girl was exactly my type — tall, blonde, and athletic — and all I could think about was Judy.”
When every other woman pales in comparison, you barely remember your ex-girlfriend and you can’t picture your life without your sweetie — nor do you want to — that sounds a lot like love. And when it walks like love and talks like love, chances are she's a rare type of love.
8. She's impossible to resist
ORION PRODUCTION / Shutterstock
Believe me, you’ve tried. You swore after your last relationship that you were done — it's just not worth it — but all attempts to cease and desist have proven futile. There’s no such thing as too much of this woman; you want her there when you’re happy, sad, tired, or sick.
A 2024 study found that this suggests a unique charisma or influence stemming from her ability to create a captivating or compelling presence. This could be related to personality traits, behavioral patterns, or even subconscious cues that make her stand out.
You know practically all there is to know about her, and most of it is pretty great. Yep, it's official. You, my friend, are in love.
Eharmony is an online dating site dedicated to helping people find true love that comes with a lasting relationship.
