23 Quiet Ways People Act When They’re Falling In Love — Research Says #7 Is Spot-On
There are ways to confirm you're totally smitten.
Joshua Rawson Harris B | Unsplash When you're falling in love, it's not always fireworks and grand gestures — often, the quiet signals tell the truth. Research shows that subtle changes in behavior, like that one point where your friends are completely over your endless love stories (#7, and they're right on the mark), can reveal your growing affection.
From nervously crafting "casual" texts to overanalyzing every detail, these understated signs are your heart's secret language. Here are 23 research-backed ways you quietly act when you're totally smitten.
Here are 23 quiet ways people act when they’re falling in love:
1. They are all you can think about
You can't even make it through class or family dinners without dreaming of their wedding. People often underestimate how much others think about them, a phenomenon known as the thought gap. An APA article explained that you likely aren't the sole focus of everyone's thoughts, and people are generally more focused on their own lives and concerns.
2. You spend all your free time with them
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Hobbies? What hobbies? You'll be spending all your free time with them and love it.
3. Every little thing reminds you of them
Music and movies will never be the same again. Research suggests that every little thing reminding you of someone can be linked to the phenomenon of transference, where past experiences and relationships influence how you perceive and react to new people or situations. The experience of being reminded of someone or something can also be linked to nostalgia, a complex emotion involving past-oriented cognition and a mixed affective signature.
4. There's nothing you wouldn't do for them
You’re willing to make small sacrifices or do favors for them. There's nothing you wouldn't do. You'll go to baseball games, watch horror movies, and happily wait in the comic book store.
5. You love to grab them things they'd like when you're out shopping
You always know what presents to get them. Recipients prefer requested gifts that match their interests over those chosen by the giver. This highlights the importance of understanding their needs and desires. An article by the University of Arizona found that giving the perfect gift involves perspective-taking, where you mentally put yourself in another person's shoes and imagine what would bring them happiness.
6. Their name alone gives you butterflies
The moment you see their name on your phone, it fills you with excitement. You wish for this feeling to last forever.
7. Your friends are sick of hearing about them
But you just can't stop.
It's crucial to recognize that friends aren't therapists, and you shouldn't feel obligated always to listen or offer solutions. Setting boundaries and understanding what your friends need is essential for healthy friendships. A 2021 study found that one-sided relationships can lead to feelings of being left out or undervalued, impacting the overall dynamic of the friendship.
8. Being with other people isn't even on your mind
You don't even notice anyone else anymore. During gatherings, your focus naturally gravitates to them, leaving others as an afterthought.
9. You prioritize their happiness
If they're happy, you're happy. Prioritizing others' needs over your own can stem from various factors, including learned behaviors, low self-esteem, or a desire to feel good by helping others. According to a 2022 study, it can also sometimes reflect underdeveloped self-differentiation.
10. You feel like you're almost addicted to them
You go through withdrawal as soon as you leave their side.
11. Their quirks become charming rather than irritating
She takes forever to get ready, and you don't care. In fact, you think it's cute.
Certain behaviors or qualities that usually annoy us can become less irritating or even endearing when displayed by someone we like or admire, a phenomenon linked to social cognition and relational dynamics. An article by the British Psychological Society explained that we may unconsciously compare someone's behavior to our own or others, which can lead to a biased judgment.
12. Past relationships don't matter anymore
You may have even forgotten your ex's name by now.
13. Even mundane tasks are fun with them
Even shopping for a new mattress can be the most fun ever. Even mundane tasks can become enjoyable through strategies like adding novelty, focusing on the positive aspects, and pairing them with more engaging activities, ultimately transforming them into something more fulfilling.
A 2015 study recommended that appreciating a task's simple pleasures and positive aspects can help shift perspective and increase enjoyment.
14. You worry about messing things up
Because this would be the worst thing ever to happen.
15. Emotional intimacy is more important than physical
Just touching them makes you happy. According to a 2018 study, while emotional and physical intimacy is essential, emotional intimacy, involving deep connection and vulnerability, is often seen as the cornerstone of strong, lasting relationships, potentially more so than physical intimacy alone. Looking into each other's eyes, cuddling, and holding hands can also build emotional intimacy without traditional physical intimacy.
16. Corny love songs have new meaning
Tunes you once dismissed now seem to capture the essence of your feelings. You will sing all the love songs and become obsessed with them.
17. They're the first person you want to tell news to
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Even if it's to tell them about the trick you taught your hamster. Sharing excellent news with a specific person first, particularly a partner or close friend, can strengthen relationships and build a sense of partnership, a phenomenon known as 'capitalization.'
Research also shows that first impressions are essential and can significantly affect social interactions, shaping how we perceive and respond to others.
18. You catch yourself daydreaming about future plans with them
Vacations, dinners, shoe shopping. Pretty much everything.
19. Everything feels right when you're with them
Being with them feels like a calm, natural fit, even in challenging times. Everything feeling right with someone can stem from a combination of factors, including empathy, shared values, and the activation of reward centers in the brain.
A 2024 study concluded that authenticity, or being true to oneself, can also contribute to connection and ease with someone.
20. You're open to trying new experiences for them
You never thought you would go skydiving...until now.
21. You genuinely feel for them when they're sad
If they're crying, you're crying too. A 2020 review concluded that empathy involves cognitive and emotional processes, including understanding others' perspectives and experiencing similar emotions. Emotional intelligence, recognizing and managing emotions, is crucial for practical empathy and interpersonal relationships.
22. You miss them as soon as they leave
You're texting them before they even get in their car.
23. There's no one else you'd rather be with
You cancel plans with friends and family to see them.
Nicole Yi is a former associate editor at PopSugar. She oversees, writes, and plans all copy and content across channels for her company, an exciting e-commerce brand called Verishop.