Psychology Says If You Master These 6 Skills, You Can Get Into Anyone's Head
Use these brain-dwelling powers for good, not evil.
Curated Lifestyle | Unsplash If you want to make someone wild about you, you have to start by getting into their head. Most of the time, people like someone who keeps them guessing, and makes them work for things — especially at the beginning it's more about the art of seduction and chase; stability comes later.
Over the years, I've learned how to get into people's heads fairly effectively, and drumming up a little bit of mind-reading can create a lasting impression. So here are some weird ways you can make sure he'll always remember your name ... in a good, or at least intriguing, way.
If you can master these skills, you can get into anyone's head:
1. Don't reveal everything off the bat
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Most guys assume that you want to talk to them and that you will interested in their lives. Some even assume that girls want a relationship with them, right off the bat.
Instead of doing the normal thing, just shoo them out the door with little chit-chat the first time or two you're together. Then, slowly open up. More often than not, they will start trying to win you over, because they don't know what to make of you.
2. Pull back a bit to create mystery
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Some guys really melt at the thrill of the chase, and for those guys, pulling back can make them even more crazy about you. They'll start to wonder what's going on, what they can do to keep you around, and basically chase you until they can get you to stay.
The funny thing is that some guys can't handle that chase, and if you actually do lose interest, they will turn you into the "one that got away" in their minds.
The unpredictable nature of the chase, not knowing if you will win the person's affection, can stimulate dopamine release and heighten the perceived reward.
A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that when someone shows occasional interest but not a full commitment, it can trigger a reward cycle in the brain, similar to gambling, making the chase even more alluring. Focusing solely on the chase can lead to an idealized image of the partner, potentially causing disappointment once the relationship becomes established.
3. Embrace your inner wild card
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Honestly, if you want to learn how to get into a guy's head, the easiest way is by being a wild card. Just being odd makes people wonder what you'll do next, even if you're relatively predictable. (Or at least, that's how it's worked for me).
4. Choose edgy date ideas
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If a guy lets you choose the date locale, choose something that would make him a little worried or scared. According to researchers from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, the brain releases oxytocin, known as the love hormone, "when we find ourselves in difficult or even threatening situations."
Additionally noteworthy, Andreas Aarseth Kristoffersen, a research assistant in NTNU's Department of Psychology shares that, "When people notice that their partner is showing less interest in their relationship than they are, the level of this relationship-building hormone increases.
Experiencing a scary date, such as watching a horror movie or visiting a haunted house, can enhance feelings of attraction and connection with a partner.
A 2020 study explained that this is due to the phenomenon of misattribution of arousal, where people may misinterpret the physiological response to fear as romantic excitement. This shared experience can also foster bonding and intimacy by triggering the release of oxytocin.
5. Feign a bit of disinterest
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This one is risky because it works if you want to learn how to get into someone's head, although, it can backfire pretty easily. The gist of this method is pretty simple: make him realize other guys are trying to get with you, too. Don't flat-out tell him, but let him see other guys fawning over you.
Referring back to the study mentioned above, researchers noted that "partners who were more invested in a relationship released more oxytocin when they thought about their relationship than the less invested partner did. Considering both members together, it was the difference in investment between partners that predicted an increase in oxytocin."
The point is to simply seem mildly disinterested, which makes him feel privileged to be with you while not 100 percent certain he has your full attention.
6. Mirror their behavior
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Mirroring men's behavior towards you gets in their heads. They often expect women to flood their phones when they pull back.
Teaching him how to treat you by mirroring him and pulling back as well rather than anxiously trying to get them to connect with you will put him in the position of either treating you well or not treating you at all.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.