A Man Who Gives You This Rare Compliment Is All In On You, No Going Back
When you hear this compliment, a man is sold on the relationship.
ABRAHAM GONZALEZ FERNANDEZ| Canva A man who tells you that 'you feel comfortable' is all-in on your relationship, no going back.
When I told the woman I was dating that she felt comfortable, she just kinda stared at me, unsure of how to take it. But as the great philosopher Eminem put it: I can’t think of a perfecter way to word it.
Since I was a kid, I operated with a sort of chip on my shoulder. Not sure really where it came from originally, but after my divorce, it was pretty significant. I noticed it more and more as I tried to get back into dating.
When I get into an uncomfortable setting, I leave. When I question someone’s loyalty or intention, I’m through. If someone comes across as dishonest, I find it impossible to rebuild trust. Sometimes it doesn’t take all that much.
Not saying this as a positive trait, more as just a description of the defense mechanism that I’ve used for far too long. But then she came along.
I can't think of a higher compliment to give a woman than to say that she is comfortable.
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She’s comfortable in her skin, and when you spend time with people like that, it is hard not to feel at ease.
She walks confidently, proud of who she is and what she stands for. She's comfortable.
Like sitting at home on a Friday night, watching a movie in sweats.
A place you can say what you think and not worry about what response you will get.
The feeling you can share any of your baggage, your history, your mistakes and know it will be met with a reassuring smile.
Comfortable.
The ability to walk into any room and not be overwhelmed.
Happy with two 5-year-old girls obsessed with what she is doing, what jewelry she has on, and “where is her dog?”
Knowing that no matter what happens during the day, she will be there.
Comfortable.
As relationship coach Clayton Olson described, "If your partner is totally himself around you, which includes him geeking out about something he truly loves, this could mean he's in falling love with you. If he's not afraid of having an in-depth conversation about each other's interests and preferences, and he's not afraid to tell you anything about himself, then he's totally comfortable with you. He knows he can be himself around you as he is around friends and family because he loves you."
As a person who hasn’t always been comfortable in my skin and has my fair share of life baggage, I didn’t expect this to ever be the case.
With others there always seemed to be things getting in the way, from schedules not working out to timing in our lives, what we were each going through and ready for. I resigned myself to the fact I may end up alone rather than in a relationship that felt questionable.
"Feeling comfortable in your skin is to feel confident and good about who you are," explained life coach Caroline Maguire. "It’s easier said than done. To say it’s simple is to ignore and invalidate every bit of anxiety that shows up when you’re faced with something new or a repeat of something awkward and uncomfortable. Being comfortable in your skin takes practice."
There isn’t a more significant desire in a relationship to me than comfort.
Sure … she’s smart, funny, kind, and beautiful … but a lot of people check those boxes for each of us. It is the people who truly see us, who seem to innately get our needs, that change our world.
I still can’t think of a better compliment to give her than she’s comfortable.
Patrick Sallee is a writer, and editor, and has a career in nonprofit management and philanthropy.