3 Lessons Couples On Earth Can Learn From The NASA Astronauts Stranded In Space
They may not be a couple, but we can learn a lot from the plight of Sunita Williams and Butch Wilmore.
IrenaR via Shutterstock When NASA astronauts Barry “Butch” Wilmore and Sunita Williams left Earth, they expected just over a week-long journey. Now, due to issues with their Boeing Starliner, they are expected to return in February 2025 aboard a SpaceX Dragon spacecraft. As long as everything goes according to plan, their trip will take eight months.
Fortunately, along with advanced training, these skilled astronauts have also received communication training to make life in such a small space easier! While we don't know exactly what they are taught in this training, here are a few lessons that can help these two during their extended journey — and they may be able to help people in marriages, too!
Three lessons couples on Earth can learn from the stranded NASA astronauts (who are not a couple!)
1. Self-soothe and project calm to create peace
The old adage for partners, “never go to sleep mad” becomes far more poignant when you imagine an unexpected multi-month separation from your family in a high-risk endeavor like a space flight!
Most couples who avoid fighting aren’t trained peace-makers. Instead, they swallow or ignore their anger and aren’t always loving even though they pretend to be. The longer the duration of a trip and the more challenging the circumstances, the bigger the cracks that can appear. So, while you need to self-soothe your anger or other big emotions and project calm, you also need to calmly address any issues so small things do not grow into big things.
Aside from their human experience, the aeronautical drama caused by Boeing’s helium leaks is another opportunity to self-soothe, be calm, and for many of us, pray. You may not have a helium leak, but you probably have your own stressors that are opportunities to practice finding your inner calm.
During this journey, Deanna, Butch’s wife, and Michael, Sunita's husband, must project complete confidence in everything, too; in the success of the mission, in the ease of being without their spouse for so long, in the shocking delay to their return home. This is how they can be supportive of their partners' goals.
2. Try techniques 'brain-breathing' to keep yourself centered
Eliminating tension is key in every marriage (or aeronautical relationship) and brain-breathing is the fastest and easiest way to become mindful fo your emotional state.
- Take a deep breath in with both nostrils.
- Count to 3 as you hold your breath
- Form your mouth into an “O”, and expel your breath in a whoosh.
You can do this anywhere, even in space. Many athletes practice these types of breathing techniques, like the Guatemalan skeet shooter who did this just before winning her gold medal in the 2024 Olympics.
Whether you’re Butch or Sunita (or any of us here on Earth) sometimes we need to show up on the video calls — or conversations with kids, partners or colleagues — as if you hadn’t a care in the world, including in deep space. Your ability to seem calm and happy affects everyone at home. Breathing techniques can help greatly.
Bella1105 via Shutterstock
3. Don't struggle over the leadership position
If these astronauts struggle over who is the "best", neither wins. Butch was the Team captain of his football team at Tennessee Technological University and a letterman, so we can assume respect and authority are key for him. Sunita is the daughter of a renowned scientist from India, so we might assume that she would have become accustomed to treating her father with respect. Regardless of who is a natural peacemaker on this trip (I'm guessing Sunita, but I do not know!) that person will have their work cut out for them on this trip.
Similarly, in our relationships, the fight over who is best or who holds the top position is bound to cause unnecessary conflict. We can lead in our relationships where it comes naturally to us, and show respect for the skills and leadership abilities of our partners.
Ultimately, the key to complete success for this NASA mission is clear communication and shared respect.
This is a rare opportunity to see two astronauts (who happen to be a man and a woman) forced into extreme proximity for months at a time without any advance notice. You can be sure Hollywood is already writing the scripts! But for Butch Wilmore and Sunita Williams, this space flight is business as usual — with very little glitz and glamour.
Susan Allan is a Life Coach whose Evolution Revolution Trainings offer proven tools to experience joy, and happiness and let go of suffering.