8 Habits Of Happy And Thriving Marriages, According To Research
Habits you can do on your own to better your marriage into a thriving one.
Lashawn Dobbs | Unsplash Studies show that couples wait a minimum of seven years before they go to couples therapy for their issues — don't wait that long!
If you're struggling in your marriage, you can learn how to deal with anxiety from marital problems before it's too late by emulating the habits that often exist in happy, thriving marriages.
Here are the habits of happy and thriving marriages:
1. You both spend time with friends and family
These are the people that support you the most. The next time you are feeling stressed out, give one of them a call.
Instead of talking about what is stressing you out, talk about what you like. Let them know about the latest podcast you just heard or about the friendly guy you were talking to in the grocery store line. If you can’t think of anything, then invite them out on a fun adventure, like going for a hike or watching a funny movie.
2. You both get enough sleep
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Research has found that more sleep equates to happiness. When you don’t get enough sleep you are more forgetful and irritable.
This also affects your work and home life. Set up a sleep schedule. Try to go to bed at a regular time and get up at a regular time.
But, try not to stress over the sleep schedule. There will be times that it doesn’t work out, and that is alright.
Getting enough sleep is essential for a happy marriage. Sleep deprivation can negatively impact mood, patience, and the ability to communicate effectively with your partner, leading to increased conflict and decreased relationship satisfaction.
Research published by Florida State University showed that couples who consistently get adequate sleep tend to report higher levels of marital happiness.
3. They both make time for their health
This means making time to exercise. This is not only good for you physically but it is good for you, emotionally.
Join a gym and take a class. This is a great way to meet new people. Better yet, hire a personal trainer. This will make a big difference. This will be the best accountability partner you can have.
4. They both put their oxygen masks on first
Why do so many people have a hard time putting themselves first on the list? You take care of everyone else, it’s time to take care of yourself without feeling guilty.
Don’t apologize for taking care of yourself or setting boundaries. Your family won’t die if you say "no." Persistent guilt can erode trust, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction by creating an unhealthy dynamic in which one partner feels constantly obligated or responsible for the other's happiness.
2024 research concluded that this leads to resentment and unhappiness in both individuals. Healthy relationships involve acknowledging occasional missteps, apologizing when necessary, and actively working towards forgiveness to move forward without being weighed down by guilt.
5. They both take time for mindfulness
Every day, I start with 10-15 minutes of mindfulness. This helps me clear my mind and get ready for the day.
Before I started this, I’d always wake up worrying about what I had to do that day and if I would have enough time to get it all done. Now, I know it’s alright if I don’t get everything done. There is always tomorrow and the next day for that matter.
6. They both schedule time for each other
You don’t have to have every time slot on your calendar filled with work. This may make you feel more productive, but you aren’t giving yourself a break.
This will lead to burning out in the long run. You can set one up in the morning, in the middle of the day, and the evening.
You can start small with 5-10 minutes. When you take this time you can’t work or even think about work.
Go for a walk or just sit and relax. I started this a while ago, and it has changed my life.
I no longer feel fatigued in the middle of the day and I am more productive.
7. They both prioritize self-care
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Shut the bathroom door and relax. Leave your cell phone behind. This is a great way for your mind and body to relax. Try this one after everyone has gone to bed.
That way you won’t be interrupted. Even if it’s 10 minutes, you will reap the benefits. This will also help you have a good night's sleep.
8. They both spend time outside
Take in the fresh air and sunshine. Get out into nature. The outdoors is great for your mental health. Notice the environment you are in. If you see a pretty flower, stop and look at it. Take a picture, if you’d like.
Notice the detail of the bark on the trees or how the squirrels run up and down them. If there is water around, stop and look at how the sun glistens on the water. You can also ride your bike if you’d like.
Just get outside and stop thinking about work and family. This is a great time to embrace the present.
As a woman, you are told to put others first. You don't have to take this literally.
Spending time outdoors together contributes to a happy marriage by boosting feelings of connection, reducing stress, improving communication, and fostering a shared positive experience. Enjoying nature's restorative qualities strengthens the bond between partners.
A study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology showed that exposure to green spaces can increase happiness, well-being, and positive emotions, translating to a more fulfilling relationship when experienced with a partner.
When you stop taking care of yourself, you will start to feel resentful. This can lead to burnout. You don't want to wait until it's too late. There are many ways to cope with anxiety and you can start today. See how it goes.
If you find it's not enough to contact a professional, even if you are ready to call it quits in your relationship, talking with a counselor can help with the process. You can reflect on where you went wrong and what to do about constant anxiety in your relationships in the future.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.