If Your Goal Is To Keep Your Wife Happy, Say Hello To These 5 Habits
Add a deeper level of satisfaction, fun, and joy to your marriage.
Boris Jovanovic | Canva Marriage can be a wonderful, uplifting relationship that provides joy and contentment, companionship and understanding. Relationships can also become a source of conflict, as many long-time married couples know all too well.
So, what does it take to keep the love flowing in a marriage and keep a wife happy? Every marriage will have some bumps and hurdles along the way. In any partnership, both parties must be vested and participating for a successful connection to exist with longevity and depth.
If your goal is to keep your wife happy, say hello to these five habits:
1. Thank your wife for the little things and the big things
In an age where women and men are working equally as much and where childcare, home chores, and even parental care are split in some way that seems to make sense, we can tend to take normal things for granted. We are inclined to fall into varied roles and routines based on our schedules and, often, unspoken expectations. Even if Tuesday happens to be her designated day to make dinner or take out the trash, when a husband thanks her for doing so, it keeps mutual respect and appreciation going.
Husbands who also thank their wives for big things like being in his life, going through pregnancy and labor, coordinating home repairs, or moving to another town to support his career all keep the relationship on the upswing. Being grateful and expressing that appreciation for who their wives are and what they contribute — beyond finances — is a tried-and-true mechanism to keep the love flowing.
2. Understand your wife's love language
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Husbands who take the time to learn their own and their spouse’s love language — preferences toward physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, words of positivity, or acts of service — can go a long way to reaching and staying connected to their wives’ hearts.
Even if their wives’ love language differs from their own, these men consciously pepper their weeks with one or more ways their wives enjoy receiving love. These husbands also offer light nudges and acknowledgment when their wives show them expressions of their husband’s love language.
Marriage therapist Janis Roszler elaborated on the importance of love languages, "Speaking of each other's love language is a vital part of connecting to strengthen your relationship. You must take the time to show your partner how you feel about them and how much you need and want them in your life. Learning to communicate and grow together is the best way of finding out how to express your feelings. Some of us must dig deeper to identify the actions that truly touch our loved ones."
3. Laugh together a lot
Life can be busy — with hobbies, work, school, kids, and schedules. We can get into a rut and lose our sense of humor. Husbands who keep their love flowing in a relationship remember what it was that brought them together — what amazing qualities and silly characteristics made their hearts melt at the beginning of their relationships. They highlight and remind their wives how they were swept off their feet and what continues to make their souls smile, knowing they’re together.
Lightheartedness and the ability to laugh with another person are rewarding on all levels, as shown by 2032 research on humor style and marital satisfaction. Keeping a sense of humor and letting go of the seriousness of life keeps the love energy overflowing. Life is supposed to be sprinkled, if not majorly consumed, with fun — and these husbands find ways to laugh with the partner they’ve chosen to spend their lives with.
4. Love yourself
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When a husband wants to explore greater depths of love with the wife he adores, he plunges deeper into his inner work so he can love his beloved even more. They know our ability to love someone else is limited only by the depth of love we have for ourselves. This self-love includes taking steps to recover from past trauma. These husbands take responsibility for healing themselves and do not look to their wives to accommodate or fix them.
Psychotherapist Vena Wilson pointed out, "You may have told your partner about the circumstances you faced during the time of the trauma, and you should continue keeping your partner in the loop about the things that are coming up for you so they know what is happening. When you've been traumatized by your past, your partner wants to support you and help in any way they can. But, it's hard for them to know how to help you if they don't know that you need their help."
Husbands who aren’t afraid to do their inner exploration know that when we love ourselves, we indirectly love those around us or those connected to us. They understand that to grow the relationship, a continual step can be to deepen their relationship with themselves. These husbands commit to personal development and collaboration to create a stronger connection with the woman they love.
5. Talk positively about your wife when she's not there
It may not be widely known, but when we have a thought about another person, that person experiences an indiscernible physical response. This undetectable physical response happens to all of us when we are thought about ——we feel someone is thinking about us, even if it’s unconscious.
Speaking kindly about their wives is another way husbands let their wives know they are loved. When husbands talk with others about their wives, they remind themselves how fortunate they are and highlight some of the great qualities their wives have, even if they disagree.
While both men and women can ignore or dismiss important aspects of relationships, this list gives an observation of a trend with husbands and not a rule.
Many women incorporate these same expressions into their relationships, too. What works best is when both individuals make space for these seemingly small things that keep marriages going strong for many years to come.
Per the idiom, “A little love goes a long way,” we see how small, seemingly silly acts of love can forever positively imprint a heartful connection with our spouses. If you already have one of these husbands in your life, be sure to acknowledge this fact, reciprocate his thoughtfulness, and feel your heart fill up with pure goodness. If you are one of these husbands — yay you, and thank you for modeling loving patterns for others to learn from.
Counselor Lianne Avila explained the value of this connection, "Rituals of connection are core to positive, healthy relationships. The small things you do as a couple create shared meaning and intimacy, which means there is a good chance your relationship is healthy, stable, and happy. Consider how you and your partner can do tiny but meaningful things together to deepen intimacy and improve your emotional connection."
If you feel you or your husband lack these qualities, don’t worry — with some communication, a wee bit of effort, and feedback, together, you and your partner can add another level of depth, satisfaction, fun, and joy to your relationship.
Pamela Aloia is a certified grief coach, intuitive/medium, and author of inspirational books. Pamela supports people through change and helps them enhance their lives and experiences via energy awareness, meditation, and mindfulness.