6 Factors That Make Someone Intensely Attracted To You, According To Psychology
Factors that make even the most unassuming person more attractive.
Kirill Balobanov | Unsplash Meeting a mate online is not easy. At all. And anyone who's ever used a dating app can tell you a horror story... or three. Your straightforward and basic account profile won't catch potential partners' eyes — instead, it'll turn them off. So, what factors make someone attracted to you?
According to statistics, it's a mix of things we can't control, how we talk about ourselves, and what we show off. It can be everything from your race to your favorite sport. And while appearances matter more than ever to the online world, so does vocabulary... and where you take your profile picture.
Here are the factors that make someone attracted to you, according to psychology:
1. Using certain buzzwords in your dating profile
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After studying 12,000 eHarmony profiles in 2014, dating experts found that certain words are guaranteed to attract the opposite gender.
Researchers found that women who used words like "ambitious," "sweet," and "thoughtful" were more often messaged by interested men, while girls went after guys who used words like "passionate," "physically fit," "ambitious" and "perceptive" to describe themselves.
In a 2017 study by Match, the best buzzwords shifted to "love," "fun," "friends," "laugh," and "music." Women are attracted to profiles with the words "caring" and "family," while men are more attracted to the term "easy."
2. Being outdoorsy
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A 2013 study by Zoosk found that male users who took a non-selfie outside and used it as their profile picture had a 19 percent increase in messages. Apparently, potential partners want to see men doing rugged and outdoorsy activities.
But the same doesn't apply to women, unfortunately. The Zoosk study found that when women took to the Great Outdoors, they saw a 40 percent decrease in messages from potential suitors.
3. Having white teeth
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Make sure you’re brushing! When Market Tools Inc. surveyed 5,481 singles aged 21 and older in 2013, they found that 58 percent of men rated "teeth" as a must-have, while 71 percent of women rated perfectly pearly whites as a must-have. Good hygiene goes a long way.
4. Being confident in your body
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While we'd love to say that it's who you are and not how you look that matters, it's impossible to ignore the fact that it does matter — especially when you're online dating.
According to 2014 research, guys aren't interested in your selfies that only show off your pretty face. Men rated the stomach as the most important feature to them in a woman's profile picture. Not too far behind were her butt and legs.
Research from a 2014 Plenty of Fish study found that women, aged 25 to 35, that categorized themselves as "thin" in their profiles were most likely to receive more messages than anyone else on the site.
When women categorized themselves as "athletic," they were second most likely to meet a mate. Women who dubbed themselves "average" were third most likely to be messaged.
When women declined to note what their body type looked like, they saw the most negative effect on the number of messages they received.
Unsurprisingly, the results showed that men who listed themselves as "athletic" on their profile were most desirable, but it didn’t have nearly as close to the same effect on date requests as body type did for women.
5. Having an interest in surfing and yoga
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Which extracurricular activities make you more attractive? Out of 1,000 possible sporting activities, surfing was the top sport that boosted appeal for men. As for the most attractive activity, a woman can do? Yoga.
6. Using emojis
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When you're messaging someone, don't be afraid to use an emoticon, says a study by the online dating site Zoosk. And when you do, don't forget the nose since :-) gets 13 percent more positive responses while : ) is 66 percent more likely to get you ignored.
A 2019 study conducted by the Kinsey Institute at IU also found that people who use emojis in communication have more success in finding and maintaining romantic relationships. They found that using an emoji is a way to try and make important connections online. Hey, I guess people appreciate the small details.
Kylie McConville is a freelance writer, editor-in-chief at Apartment Therapy, and founding editor of Romper. Her bylines have appeared in BDG, Yahoo, Bustle, Elite Daily, Romper, The Bump, and others.
Michelle Toglia is the Executive Editor at Elite Daily, overseeing the site's entertainment, news, style, dating, and experiences coverage.