Experts Reveal The Most Tragic Mistake Couples Make Before Walking Down The Aisle
Dig below the glitter of love to find the gem of marriage.
C.Mae Design, Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva Are you about to tie the knot? Want to make sure your marriage goes the distance? Diving into marriage is a big deal, and you should make sure you're ready. What's the biggest mistake couples make before they get married and what's the best advice for avoiding it? Not only is this relationship advice for women who are getting ready to walk down the aisle foolproof, but it will make sure you have a long-lasting and healthy marriage.
YourTango Experts Jasbina Ahluwalia, Ellen Whitehurst, Abby Rodman, and Maya Ezratti sat down with YourTango Experts Senior VP Melanie Gorman to tackle the issue of what gives a relationship the strength to make it until "happily ever after."
Here are the most tragic mistakes couples make before walking down the aisle:
1. Couples don't vet each other the way they should
One mistake couples tend to make is not knowing everything about their partner. If you were going to start a business with somebody, you would want to know everything you needed to know about that person.
- Where they're from
- How much money they have
- What they are willing to invest in
- What are the roles going to be for the business
Many couples get married without knowing these things about each other because they didn't have any conversations before they got married.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
2. Before getting married, they didn't delve into marital issues
Before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone you should know everything about them, otherwise you could face one of the common factors of divorce outlined in a study from 2001.
- How will you handle problems?
- How do you envision your roles once you get married
- How will you handle in-law issues
- How much family input do you see concerning decisions
3. They didn't take time to observe their future spouse
Preparing for a good marriage goes beyond talking. You need to observe your interactions over time to get to know them. This gives you a lot of information about how they react beyond what they might say.
People getting married need to pay attention to their future spouse's behavior. What you see is what you get, so keep your eyes open to know if your future spouse is a buyer beware situation.
4. They ignore the complicated signs
If the relationship is complicated in the beginning, it's going to be more complicated when you're married, it doesn't get easier. It's easy to get through the good times with someone but can you get through the harder times with them?
Marriage is a commitment and it is challenging to spend the rest of your life with someone even if you like them. So, you need to know if you can get through the tough times when you might not like them as much. How much can you stand that person?
This conversation must happen to truly figure out the basis of your marriage. You do not want to walk down the aisle and think to yourself, “Wow I do not know this person at all.”
5. They don't plan for change
With growth comes great change in your relationship. If you have a baseline established in your marriage, when significant changes come, it will be easier to handle.
Change in a relationship looks like:
- Children
- Death of a parent
- Loss of a job
- Or any other significant changes that bring new challenges
A study in 2022 reinforced that you need to have an open line of communication established for a good marriage, but that line needs to be open far before any challenges occur.
6. Digging below the glitter of love is the gem of marriage
If couples want to prevent divorce, they have to know their partner and ask tough questions to dig deep. They have to be honest with their answers and listen openly to what they hear from their partner, as demonstrated by research from 2017 on premarital counseling.
Check out the video above to learn what questions you should be asking about your partner — and yourself — to avoid heartbreak and divorce.
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