Psychology Says If You Can Master These 7 Skills, Your Dating Game Is Basically Perfect
You've got this dating thing down to an art.
Alexander Mass | Pexels I want you to know (and celebrate) when you're on the right path to finding love. My job is to make dating more straightforward so you can meet “The One” faster and with less frustration. Some women loathe dating and resist it (and complain about it) every step of the way.
Yet, some of you embrace the process beautifully. There are seven signs you handle the dating process well; if you're not great at it yet, these are seven goals to aim for.
If you do these 7 things, your dating game is basically perfect:
1. You have a great, optimistic attitude about finding love.
La Famiglia | Shutterstock
First, let me praise you for your positive outlook on dating, men, and love. Yes, there are a few bad apples in the "singleverse", but your optimistic perspective keeps you mingling and on track to finding "The One."
Instead of succumbing to man-bashing with your gal pals over drinks, you'd rather focus on the good men you meet and look for more opportunities. Your positivity and enthusiasm are winning (and attractive) qualities that also serve you well in life.
A 2019 Frontiers in Human Neuroscience study indicates that a positive outlook on dating can significantly impact one's dating experience. This increases the likelihood of approaching potential partners, improves perceptions of dates, and increases the chance of finding a fulfilling relationship.
The study also shows that an optimistic mindset can influence how individuals interpret interactions and perceive potential partners as more desirable. This is often linked to positive illusions in relationships, where people see their partner in a slightly more positive light than reality, contributing to relationship satisfaction.
2. You understand dating is a numbers game.
Motortion Films | Shutterstock
You realize you must "kiss many frogs" before you find your prince.
There is no question — dating is a numbers game, and you must meet as many men as possible to find a great match. This is a simple reality you already understand, so you have an easier time than other women who have met five guys during the year and get frustrated because they can’t find a good man.
A 2012 study on dating as a numbers game often focuses on the idea that the more people you meet and date, the higher your chances of finding a compatible partner. This perspective highlights the statistical nature of finding love and the impact of exposure to a diverse dating pool. However, this perspective can also be critiqued for potentially leading to a more transactional relationship approach, neglecting emotional connection and deeper compatibility.
3. Your expectations about dating are realistic.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock
You're savvy enough to know one good date does not automatically mean you’re starting a wonderful relationship. With realistic expectations, you wait and see if he calls again and whether he continually makes time to see you. Nothing is a given when it comes to dating someone new.
It takes time to get to know a man, and you have enough dating wisdom to avoid falling in love too fast or getting your hopes up too high for any man early in the dating journey. You are clear to him. A man needs to prove himself, which can take six to 12 dates before you know for sure he’s worthy and a good match.
You watch for consistency in his behavior. Continuing to pursue you, excellent follow-up and alignment between what he says and does are all part of your vetting process. Otherwise, you cut your losses to seek better prospects.
4. You actually enjoy meeting men and going on dates.
Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock
This is one of your best qualities! You enjoy getting to know men and take the interaction for what it is. You might see him once, five times, or marry him, but you can enjoy the moment versus projecting into the future.
Mastering this ability gives you a fantastic advantage, unlike other women who don’t enjoy (and even resent) dating. Instead, they would meet the one on the first try and stop all this dating stuff as fast as possible, making dating tedious for them (and the men they go out with).
When you take the pressure off each first date and have fun meeting new men, you can relax, laugh at his jokes, have a great conversation, or learn something new, all of which have value.
5. You know how to stay upbeat when things don’t work out.
New Africa | Shutterstock
Women who rock at dating don’t waste time falling apart when a new man disappears after a few dates. Even if you feel disappointed, you don’t collapse into a Ben and Jerry’s binge because he didn’t call again.
You naturally take solace in the idea the right man wouldn’t disappear, which means he was the wrong guy. You also know plenty more men and the right one for you is still out there.
This dating wisdom is similar to self-coaching; your positive inner chatter keeps you optimistic. You know how to shift the focus from the disappointment in one man to consider who might be next! I always say: Every man you meet brings you one man closer to the right one for you.
A 2006 study indicates that staying optimistic while dating can significantly enhance the experience. Compared to pessimists, optimists tend to have higher relationship satisfaction, are more supportive of their partners, and may even have longer-lasting relationships. This is mainly due to their tendency to focus on potential solutions to challenges and belief in the possibility of a successful partnership.
6. You score a lot of second dates.
antoniodiaz | Shutterstock
You know you rock at dating when you're often asked out for second and third dates. Sometimes, you can have a great time and not get called for a second date, but mostly, men want to see you again.
Bingo! That’s a surefire sign you're making an excellent first impression, and you're fun to hang out with, which appeals to a man’s masculine energy, so he wants more of your femininity.
Research published by Sexuality & Culture suggests that actively listening, asking thoughtful follow-up questions, showing genuine interest through conversation, maintaining good eye contact, and demonstrating positive body language are critical factors in increasing the likelihood of getting a second date. These actions create a connection by going beyond superficial conversation and showing a desire to get to know someone deeply.
7. You keep your options open until you agree to exclusivity.
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock
Unlike most women, you wisely date more than one man at a time because you never know who will ask you out again. During the initial 'get to know you' phase, you keep your options open and continue meeting men to avoid falling in love before you know he’s the right one.
Once you determine a man has true long-term potential, then (and only then) do you discuss exclusivity before you stop dating others.
Congratulations! You're a true expert at dating with grace and a great attitude.
How awesome to know you rock at dating and are on the path to finding the love you want! I applaud you for the wisdom you apply to your dating journey, and I know you will likely find the right man very soon.
A 2019 study about keeping options open in dating before committing to exclusivity often focuses on relationship uncertainty, the exploration phase, opportunity cost, and fear of commitment. This suggests that individuals may prefer to maintain a wider pool of potential partners until they feel sufficiently invested and confident in a single relationship.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.