Psychology Says The Most Deeply Connected Couples Always Do These 3 Things
How to genuinely connect with each other as a couple again.
AndreyPopov | Canva Falling in love, having a healthy relationship, and staying deeply connected are goals for many couples. But just like with any goal, achieving it requires work.
Most likely, you’re familiar with the idea of setting goals, but probably, when you think about them, it’s because a manager or a personal trainer sits you down and forces you to make them. As annoying as it seems to write down what you want to achieve within a certain period — especially when you know it’s going to be tough to do it — you have to admit it works.
Even if you don’t make every goal, every time, the effort you put into achieving your goals makes you better at what you do. You also learn that falling short of a milestone isn’t the end of the world.
You can always keep trying; if you’re smart, that’s what you do. If setting goals makes you better at work or stronger in the gym, imagine what will happen when you set goals for your relationships!
There are various goals for the attached and unattached who are in love or looking for it. Try them out, even if it’s just for a month or two, and watch your love life start to reconnect.
The most deeply connected couples always do these 3 things:
1. Schedule mandatory date nights
Schedule date nights once per week. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into the rut of living parallel lives. You might be in the same house, the same room, or even the same bed.
Mandatory date nights can significantly benefit relationships by fostering stronger connections, increased communication, higher levels of relationship satisfaction, and improved sexual intimacy. This is especially true when couples regularly set aside dedicated time to focus solely on each other, reducing distractions from daily life. A 2021 study showed that couples who engage in regular date nights report greater marital happiness and stability than those who don't.
But, unless you’re focused on nothing but each other, you risk losing the spark that brought you together in the first place. Keep the heat turned up with a mandatory date night! From dinner and a movie to a huge blowout out on the town, time to be "just you two" is sure to continue being in love and fanning the flames of romance in your relationship.
2. Practice role-reversal
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Schedule this once per month. If one of you is sick of picking up after the other, while the other one is tired of always being the one to have to change the light bulbs, you could accidentally turn down the road to resentment.
Get back on track by taking one day a month to reverse the roles. Whether you do this as a surprise or because you have it planned out, you’ll give each other a break and build a better understanding of what you have to go through, too.
3. Flirt with each other via text
Schedule this at least once per day. No matter how busy you get at work, there are always a few seconds to stop and send a text to the one you love. Rather than lamely thumbing out a "What’s up, honey?" or "Don’t forget to bring home the milk," spice it up by saying something sultry.
When used appropriately, intimate texting can have several positive effects on relationships. It can foster a sense of connection, enhance emotional intimacy, facilitate self-disclosure, and provide a means to express affection, especially for couples in long-distance relationships. However, a 2021 study found that the nature of the texts and the relationship's context are crucial factors to consider.
Call on all those code words and pet names you use when you’re at the height of passion. And don’t be surprised, when you see each other again, at the inspiration you get for more frequent fun in the bedroom.
Judi Vitale is a certified transpersonal coach, an advanced clinical hypnotherapist, and a consulting astrologer.