Psychology Found 8 Key Things Couples Who Stay In Love Always Do
Love isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be worth it.
Kurt Van Krieken | Unsplash I strongly believe that we have to take care of ourselves first in order to let somebody into our lives who will look in the same direction. And then together we can co-create a beautiful life day by day.
There are secrets to why two people in a relationship stay in love, while so many others end up broken up or divorced. And those couples just do things differently.
Psychology found 8 key things couples who stay in love always do:
1. They respect each other
We all are different people with different minds, hobbies, thoughts, views, tastes. We are so multifaceted and we change moment by moment. But regardless of differences, respect is the foundation for any relationship to succeed.
Respecting each other as human beings, as professionals and partners is crucial for a good relationship. It means respecting every step and being there to witness each other’s life journey without any judgment.
2. They trust in each other
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We all make tons of mistakes, we have horrible days, we fail, we fight, we say awful things to each other, we hold grudges, we can’t get past traumas, sometimes we don’t feel attractive or smart, and we feel like losers. During those times, we all need somebody to remind us of our greatness and to just be there for us.
We need our partner to trust us. Somebody who sincerely loves us and sees our inner and outer beauty no matter what. In a healthy relationship, two people will want the other person to feel good about themselves. And to know that our partner always trusts in our development and choices will make the relationship strong and comfortable.
Trust is a cornerstone of healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships. It's crucial in fostering intimacy, resolving conflict, and maintaining long-term commitment. Conversely, an article by Eastern Illinois University concluded that a lack of trust can lead to negative consequences such as decreased relationship satisfaction and increased conflict.
3. They give one another personal space
In a strong relationship, two people will give each other space to be themselves, to grow in a direction they choose, and to help each other become their authentic selves.
Wanting space in a relationship is normal, as both parties should have their own individual lives separate from each other. Additionally, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we can't expect to grow as a person if we are constantly attached to our partner.
Changing another person will lead nowhere. It’s either learning to love unconditionally or going through the wringer of not being accepted all over again.
4. They take care of themselves first
It’s not our responsibility to make our partner happy, and it’s not your partner’s duty to make you happy. It is our responsibility to make ourselves happy and fill our own cup, and from that cup we can share the love with our partner.
If we are not satisfied with who we are, if we lack self-confidence, and if we can’t overcome traumas from childhood and past relationships, we will always project our misery onto other people. In order to have a good relationship, it's essential that we put our needs first before we tend to the needs of others.
Prioritizing individual self-care is crucial for a relationship's overall health and success. A 2024 study found that when individuals neglect their own well-being, it can lead to stress, burnout, and even depression, ultimately impacting the quality of the relationship. Taking care of oneself allows individuals to bring their best selves to the relationship, fostering stronger communication, connection, and overall happiness.
5. They make the relationship a priority
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Big love is more of a choice than a sudden feeling. It’s two humans deciding to make a life together. No material thing, no house, no car, or no job makes us rise or fall as much as our relationships.
We feel alive when we can share and when we can experience little, magical things together. We feel alive when we can laugh, cry, chat and be silent together. A relationship should always be the priority.
6. They have zero expectations
Every relationship is a whole life and a process. Learning not to have expectations from others is a very hard lesson to learn. We expect each other to be a certain way and then we are disappointed because our expectations were not met.
Embracing and adapting instead of expecting is a core principle for couples who stay madly in love. They embrace every perfect imperfection and fall in love with their partner's wholeness, uniqueness, and genuineness.
While having zero expectations in a relationship is unrealistic, research suggests that managing and lowering unrealistic expectations can improve relationship satisfaction and reduce conflict. The Gottman Institute recommended focusing on positive relationship qualities like kindness, respect, and appreciation, which can foster stronger connections than clinging to rigid or overly optimistic expectations.
7. They communicate by expressing feelings
Other people can’t read our minds, so we better learn to speak out loud what we feel, mean, and think. Clear communication, even if it’s difficult, vulnerable, or ugly, is a trait of a healthy, strong relationship.
Our partner is not left in the dark and can decide how to proceed without making wrong assumptions. It’s as simple as this. Have something on your mind? Say it. Otherwise, we cannot expect our partner to wonder what we truly desire.
8. They stay attractive to each other, mentally and physically
Even if this one is a hard truth, we want a partner who is attractive to us. But doing something for somebody means taking care of our mind, body, and spirit.
When we are fit, healthy and keep on growing, we feel confident and vibrant. And when that's the case, our partner will always feel it, too. So we should never stop growing, evolving, rediscovering ourselves.
There is no formula for a perfect relationship.
We all are different and our partner is our best mirror. Our partner will absorb our inferiority complex and reflect it back to us as much as our love and confidence. We can learn from each other about ourselves every moment. We can learn to be together, patiently, with love, kindness and a desire to make it work.
A relationship is always hard work. It’s work on ourselves, on our inner demons, on our preconceived notions, and on co-existing as two. Love comes with experience and time, and it gets stronger the more intimacy there is between two people.
According to a 2021 study, mental and physical attraction are crucial in maintaining long-term relationships. While initial attraction is often fueled by physical appearance, especially in the early stages, deeper connections, such as shared values, kindness, and emotional intimacy, become increasingly important as relationships evolve. Maintaining mental and physical attraction requires conscious effort and a willingness to nurture the relationship on multiple levels.
How beautiful it is when two people build up mental and physical intimacy, helping each other heal and reaching their highest potential.
Olga Chirkova is an author, photographer, and writer whose bylines have appeared on The Good Men Project, Medium, Post Pravda, and Rebelle Society. She writes on lifestyle, self-improvement, and relationship topics.
