Married Couples Who Stay Wildly In Love For Decades Share These 4 Traits
Let your love last forever by cultivating these qualities.
Scopio | Canva We all need a little marriage advice now and then if we want to build healthy relationships as married couples. The first truth that I embraced in my marriage was building a strong foundation from the beginning.
Life is unpredictable. Love and marriage are often intertwined. However, a strong foundation is what allows a good marriage to remain standing amid unseen storms.
Building a foundation can take time and patience but I’ve learned the only way to achieve it is with respect — for yourself and your spouse.
I found out early on that a healthy marriage needs a lot more than just love to withstand the test of time. Learning how to have a healthy relationship takes a lot of work. And respect for each other is what can make or break it.
Married couples who stay wildly in love for decades share these four traits:
1. They have realistic expectations
There is no quicker way to set your marriage up for failure than carrying around unrealistic fantasies of what we think marriage should look like. Lose the comparisons, especially now with social media, when all we see is everyone's "highlight reel."
What we don't see is all the work that went into that one happy picture that was posted. Unless you've walked a day in the shoes of the couple you may envy, you have no idea what their everyday life and relationship are like.
Be happy with what you have and invest your time in making your marriage better instead of comparing yours to someone else's.
2. They're willing to forgive
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As I've gotten older, this one has become easier to do. But when I was younger, I relished hanging on to my anger and hurt mainly over dumb stuff. Don't do it! It takes more energy and effort to be angry with your spouse than it does to forgive them. It's most important to admit our own mistakes first.
Most times, I've contributed something to a situation that required forgiveness. No one is perfect! A willingness to forgive within a marriage is strongly linked to higher relationship satisfaction.
A 2021 study showed that couples who readily forgive each other after conflicts tend to have happier marriages and stronger bonds. However, it's crucial to consider the context of the transgression, as excessive forgiveness in the face of repeated harmful behavior can sometimes undermine healthy relationship dynamics.
3. They prioritize their marriage
Your marriage should be at the top of the list. For whatever reason, my husband and I are both wired to give ourselves and our time to others without even thinking about it. Although it is great to be available for others, we sometimes find ourselves giving more to others than we did to each other.
It is important to set boundaries so we aren't left depleted by the most important person in our lives.
4. They're fully transparent with each other
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The truth in all forms should be the simplest thing and yet most times it is the most complicated. Being honest about my feelings was difficult for me and I felt like if I expressed them I would seem weak. Instead, they stayed inside and festered.
Not addressing them at the proper time created unnecessary tension and feelings that boiled over into something they didn’t need to be. For a stubborn, prideful woman like myself, just be honest.
Honesty about our feelings is not a disease or weakness! (I have to keep telling myself that even 22 years later!) Honesty is a crucial foundation for a healthy marriage. It fosters trust, intimacy, and open communication, making couples feel secure enough to share their true selves.
A 2021 study confirmed this ultimately leads to a stronger bond and better relationship quality. Dishonesty can erode trust and significantly damage the relationship.
Marriage is one of the hardest and greatest things I've ever experienced in my life. It has produced children, endured pain, and has allowed me to have a relationship based on faith, humility, respect, and love.
And, like most great things in life, a great marriage needs to be approached with a willingness to embrace what will make it succeed.
Once we develop a mindset of thinking beyond just ourselves, relationships naturally become stronger and regardless of what they endure, they will have been made to last.
Amy Debrucque is an inspirational writer, encourager, survivor, and believer. She’s had articles published on ThriveGlobal, and ForEveryMom and was a guest speaker on The Love Offering Podcast.