7 Charming Ways To Get (Almost) Any Guy To Ask You Out
You don't need to be prettier, you need to know how to make it all work.
LOOK | Canva So, you’re ready to step up your dating game, but you’re still wondering how to get a guy to notice you. Maybe you’re frustrated because you’re ready for a healthy relationship but haven’t managed to secure a date.
To make it worse, you have that one friend who seems to attract the attention of any man she wants. She draws them in even if there are tons of beautiful, attractive women around. And no, she is not any more beautiful than you or your other friends. She just knows something other women don't.
The good news is that getting a guy to notice you isn't all about looks. But there is a right and wrong way to go about it. You want the man you’ve got your eye on to see all the wonderful qualities you bring to the table.
Here are seven charming ways to get a guy to ask you out
1. Be confident
It doesn’t matter how drop-dead gorgeous you look, if you are not confident about yourself, a guy can tell and be turned off in a minute.
When you are comfortable with yourself, it shows. Confidence in the right amount is seriously attractive and is an excellent way to make men attracted to you. Whether you’re a social butterfly or shy, you need to feel comfortable in your skin.
What makes you feel comfortable? Is it a particular outfit you love or perfume that makes you feel special? Is it something you are good at or know a lot about? Find out what makes you feel confident.
You can also boost your confidence by approaching the guy you like instead of waiting for him to come to you. This will put you in the position of choosing rather than going through the anxiety of waiting to be picked.
A Journal of Personality and Social Psychology meta-analysis of self-esteem and social relationships demonstrates that when you exude confidence, you’re more likely to intrigue men, and their attraction to you will come easily. What better quality is there than that?
Being secure in your body and mind is the biggest aphrodisiac imaginable for a man.
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2. Be fun to be around
Men are instinctively drawn to fun women and are more likely to ask someone positive on a date. A guy cannot resist a girl who demonstrates a carefree personality.
If a man sees you with bright eyes and a smile on your face, he will not only be intrigued but also energized by your positive energy. After all, the Journal of Positive Psychology confirms that optimism and positive energy are contagious.
If a guy notices this attitude, he will want to know you better and maybe even ask you on a date.
Negativity, on the other hand, is terrible for you and the people around you. Spending time moaning about your annoying landlord, inconsiderate colleague, or selfish friend will not attract anyone. We all want to be in a happy relationship.
3. Create a positive atmosphere around yourself
When a guy you have just met tells you what he wants to accomplish, do you listen with interest? Do you ask questions and encourage him, or do you remind him about all the possible risks and potential problems?
When you communicate with a man, do your best to create a positive emotional environment. He will not be able to resist you. Guys associate positivity with maturity and elegance, as supported by a study of personality perception on facial attractiveness judgments published byThe Public Library of Science (PLOS One). So, keep a fresh outlook and do all you can to maintain a positive demeanor.
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4. Make him feel helpful
Needing help can be frustrating, but it has one advantage. Letting him help you will make the guy feel wanted. There is nothing men enjoy more than feeling useful, the same as anyone seeking a healthy relationship as supported by a study of motivations and preferences in romantic relationships published by Frontiers in Psychology.
Many men will automatically comfort women and explore as many potential solutions to their problems as possible because they don’t want to see the people around them suffer.
If you want to score a second date, be open about a challenging situation you are experiencing. You could ask the guy for a recommendation. Anything that makes him think he’s smart is a winner. Needing help is the best way to get a guy to notice you.
5. Have a sense of humor
Want to know how to get a guy to like you? Make him laugh. Humor is attractive, and men love women who make them laugh, but they're significantly more attracted to women who laugh at their jokes.
Humor is a function of attraction as shown in a study published by Evolutionary Psychology Journal, so most authentic guys are attracted to women who are funny and smart. When you find yourself in the company of a guy you like, shed off your seriousness and loosen up. Keep the mood light and do not be afraid to put yourself out there.
However, ensure you don’t treat everything as a joke. Provide substance in your conversation while keeping it light-hearted.
6. Stand strong with your standards
You may want to impress a guy so much that you lose your identity. Do you find yourself giving a guy you like what you think he wants to see and hear?
Acting is tough and if you attract a guy through acting, you will have to act for the rest of your life to retain a relationship with him.
Just be yourself. When you are happy with yourself, you will attract guys who will appreciate the person you are, as shown in a study from the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences.
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7. Compliment him
Guys act like they do not need praise, but they need compliments as much as women, as explored in research from the Western Journal of Communication.
He probably put a lot of thought into his outfit, hairstyle, and which shoes he chose, and would appreciate you noticing. So, let the compliments loose and tell him what attracted you to him in the first place, and what sets him apart from other guys. He will not be able to resist you.
Remember, you want a guy to ask you out for the right reasons.
There are many ways to win the attraction of a man. There are healthy ways and not-so-healthy ways, and the former tends to end in more dating and eventually, a relationship. When you draw in guys intelligently, you will attract a suitable man.
In today’s world, which is full of distractions, the key is to make an effort. If you want a guy to notice you, you must do something.
Above all, be yourself in all that you do. Being attractive to a good guy means knowing who you are and accepting yourself. Having a happy relationship is about learning how to manage people. Getting into a relationship is about understanding what men truly want, not just what they say they want.
Randy Skilton is a relationship coach with an Advanced Diploma in Social Science. His work has appeared on Psych Central, Lifehack, and Marriage.com where he educates others on enhancing the quality of their relationships.