The Sneaky Psychological Strategy That Instantly Reveals If A Guy Likes You Or Not
Trust his actions, not his words.
kupicoo | Canva If you're tired of trying to figure out how to tell if a guy likes you, I've developed a highly effective technique for women built around a basic psychological strategy called "mirroring."
Essentially, mirroring is the basic psychological strategy that means you don't do anything unless the man you're interested in does it first.
You don't call him. You don't text him. You don't try to make plans with him.
If he doesn't make an effort, he's sending you undeniably clear signs he isn't interested or motivated about dating you, let alone becoming your boyfriend or partner in a long-term romantic relationship. Case closed.
RDNE Stock project / Pexels
Frankly, mirroring is close to foolproof when it comes to knowing if a guy likes you.
But that said, nothing in life is perfect. It's entirely possible you can do nothing, as I advocate, then the man pulls away and says, "You don't make enough of an effort for me."
Although that's certainly possible, it still doesn't mean you should stop mirroring. To explain why, let's consider a situation outside the realm of love and dating. Let's say you wanted to lose ten pounds.
You read every diet book and women’s magazine under the sun and conclude the simplest way to go about this would be to eat smaller portions of healthier foods and get to the gym three times a week for cardio exercise.
You do exactly that. For one month, you’re a dieting machine with the occasional indulgence, of course. To measure your progress at the end of those first four weeks, you get on the scale only to find you weigh the same amount you did four weeks ago.
Does this mean you shouldn't continue to eat smaller, healthier portions and hit the treadmill regularly? Of course not. It might mean there’s something else you can tweak, but the basic principles of dieting remain true, regardless of the results.
cottonbro studio / Pexels
Mirroring a man’s efforts isn’t nearly as scientific a technique as dieting, but I think it’s pretty hard to contradict the general guiding principle.
Ultimately, men do what they want to do. If he wants to call you, he’ll call you. If he wants to see you, he’ll see you. If he wants to commit to you, he’ll commit to you. And if he doesn’t do any or all of those things, he’s not a suitable boyfriend for you, is he?
Furthermore, even if you do eventually end up in a relationship with a guy like that, remember men who need you to do all of the calling, texting, and planning for them are pretty much guaranteed to make you do all the work in a relationship, for as long as it lasts. Any guy who sends texts to tell you he doesn’t hear from you enough and you aren't doing enough to woo him isn't a suitable match for a long-lasting relationship.
I dated my wife for a year and a half before proposing, and I don’t think she initiated contact with me once during that time. That was because she knew I would call if I wanted to talk to her.
You may not have the fortitude to trust that a guy will make the effort to pursue you, so you unconsciously try to manipulate him subtly instead, saying things like, “Hey, I’ve got tickets to the Dodgers on Sunday. Wanna go?” or “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay at work?”
The cold, hard truth is that you shouldn’t have to do anything to remind him that you exist. He knows you exist. And if he’s not making every effort for you, there’s not much left to interpret.
Sure, you can go back to pursuing men who are too busy or lazy or afraid to say things like, “So, what are you doing Saturday?” But where would that leave you? Powerless.
When a guy behaves that way, you won’t know if he’s going out with you because he wants you or if it's only because he’s filling time until a woman he wants comes along. When you don’t do anything, you quickly figure out where you stand with a guy.
Of course, there will be exceptions to this rule. Only you can decide when to apply the rules and when to waive them when determining if a guy likes you.
Make no mistake. When we’re hungry, we eat. When we’re tired, we sleep. When we’re interested, we call. It isn’t that complex. Besides, don't you want to be with someone who knows what they want? One study from The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin indicates that women want men who pursue them.
Evan Marc Katz is a dating coach for smart, strong, successful women who want to find lasting love.