Wife Decides She Wants A Divorce After Her Husband Sat In The Car For 10 Minutes During A 'Family Emergency'
"I feel like I no longer have trust in him especially when it comes to serious stuff."
Stock-Asso | Shutterstock A woman on Reddit revealed that she's considering ending her marriage due to her husband's actions — or lack thereof — during a family emergency.
She is contemplating divorce after her husband sat in the car instead of rushing in to help during a 'family emergency.'
"I have been married to my husband for 2 years," she explained in her Reddit post. "He has a habit of sitting in the car [for] 5-10 minutes before entering the house. I don't know why he does it, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and caught his ex cheating on him."
She added that she doesn't think he's wrong for how he copes with what happened in his past relationship, but it has been a source of many fights between them. "Like when we have guests, he'd sit outside before coming in, or when dinner is waiting on him, and he'd take 10 minutes silently sitting in the car," she wrote.
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She admitted to being worried that if something were to happen that demanded his immediate return to their house, he wouldn't be able to respond properly. Her fear ended up coming true.
Recently, their 8-year-old son tripped and fell down the stairs, causing his ankle to break. She called her husband and told him to come home so they could take him to the hospital as he was in severe pain.
"He rushed out of work, but then I called and called, and I was stunned when I looked out the window and saw him sitting outside the house in his car," she continued. "I was both shocked and angry. I ran outside, and I asked how long he was sitting in the car."
He told her that he still had 2 minutes left before he could come inside and take their son to the hospital.
"I was so mad and hurt but tried to rush him, and he insisted he wouldn't feel 'comfortable' coming in until the 10 minutes were up," she shared. "He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started screaming at him nonstop, telling him this was a family emergency and that he was out of his mind to behave like that."
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The issue with her husband's ritual isn't the fact that it's rooted in trauma but the fact that he hasn't done anything to rectify it.
Sitting in the car for 10 minutes before entering the house has been driving a wedge between him and his wife, and this latest incident has only heightened that.
The next step should be to seek professional help. Her husband should not feel ashamed or hesitant to speak to someone about what happened in his past relationship because it's obvious that it's having a considerable impact on his life and his marriage.
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"I ended up taking my son by myself when my neighbor intervened and offered to take us. We went to the hospital, and later, my husband came and tried to talk to me, but I refused. I then went to stay with my mom and texted him that I wanted a divorce," she recalled.
Her husband attempted to rationalize and justify what he did, saying he couldn't help it and that he felt "stuck" in the car.
The woman admitted that she feels "lost" and "unable to think" because of everything that's happened.
70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some form of trauma in their life. And while that number is astronomically high, it does not excuse this woman's husband from choosing to ignore a path to health. In order to heal, he needs support, but that doesn't mean his wife has to accept his coping techniques, especially when they are becoming detrimental to their marriage. In fact, experts suggest that in addition to offering empathy, partners must create boundaries to protect themselves and, in this case, the child as well.
If her husband can't get past his past relationship trauma when someone in his family is having an emergency, then he definitely needs to seek out a mental health professional to teach him the necessary tools and resources to cope.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.