Wife Asks For Advice After Her ‘Unsupportive’ Husband Said He & Their Child Were ‘Better Off’ Without Her
"Is it normal for a partner to be so negative and unsupportive?"
fizkes | Shutterstock A woman admitted that throughout her marriage, she has slowly noticed more and more alarming red flags in her husband, from his unsupportive nature to frequent rude and condescending comments.
A recent conversation the couple shared left her pleading for advice from Reddit readers.
“My partner and I have a lot of issues,” she wrote in her since-deleted post. “Lately, he said that our child would be better off without me, his mother … is he right?”
The woman asked for advice after her ‘unsupportive’ husband said their family would be ‘better off’ without her.
“He said he ‘doesn’t need me and whenever I want to leave and have a new life I can go,’ because ‘I’m not taking [their daughter] with me,’'" she wrote. "Everything I do is not enough. He doesn’t support me in any way.”
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While she works full-time to provide for their family, her husband stays at home, and it's clear that some resentment and toxicity are brewing because of this.
“I work full-time at a new position and recently got paid! When I came home with my $1300 check, my husband looked at it … and said that he’s made more money in a pay period than that,” she recalled. “I told him he was being insensitive … and he said that I just don’t work hard enough.”
Feeling supported in a relationship is essential.
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel emotionally supported — something this marriage is clearly lacking.
A supportive partner is trusting, honest, communicative, and respectful. They value your time and effort and put an equal amount of care into the relationship. Importantly, they encourage you to be the best version of yourself and celebrate your accomplishments.
“Even though I work more hours than him, he never makes my lunch, he never makes me breakfast, he never lays out my work clothes, and he never even sends me off in the morning,” she admitted.
“He’ll stay up all night sometimes until 4 a.m., even leaving dishes in the sink.”
He's not just unwilling to be present and work on their relationship, but he degrades her work ethic, invalidates her emotions, and “puts her down” to feel superior — none of which indicates a supportive partner or healthy relationship.
Commenters urged the woman to get out of this relationship, especially if her husband isn’t willing to acknowledge his wrongdoings.
In a comment under the post, this woman admitted that her husband often criticizes her identity, appearance, and parenting skills, arguing that she’s “nothing” with him. He’s exuding typical narcissist manipulator behavior by intertwining her self-worth with their relationship.
“He says that nobody will want a single mom anyway,” she wrote. “He never spoke to me like this until our daughter was born.”
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Other discussions under the post alluded to physical abuse in their relationship, in addition to mental turmoil and emotional abuse.
“You need to put yourself first,” one user advised. “Get out of there…Get your ducks in a row, talk to a lawyer, leave with the kids, and don’t do it alone.”
It’s time for this Reddit woman to remove herself from a toxic marriage where she's constantly anxious, in “fight or flight” mode, and putting herself and her children’s well-being at risk. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
And contrary to her husband's claims, she can find a much more supportive and loving partner in the future, even as a single mom.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories