25 Ways Couples In The Healthiest Relationships Show Respect, According To Renowned Therapists
Expect to see a more enriched partnership.
Paperkites | Canva Great and healthy relationships need high levels of respect on the part of both partners. For couples who are less intentional and accomplished in this area, their lack of respect holds the partnership down to lower levels of well-being. Learning how to show respect is a must for both partners.
There are some simple steps you can take to stop any habituated disrespectful patterns and replace them with more responsible ways of relating. Although they're not necessarily easy, they enhance the level of respect and allow your relationship and partnership to thrive.
Here are 25 ways couples in the healthiest relationships show respect, according to renowned therapists:
1. Tune in and pay attention
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Listen attentively to find out your partner's needs, desires, and concerns.
2. Act on your discoveries
Use what you've discovered by paying close attention to show you notice their needs, desires, and concerns by acting on what you discover.
3. Respond to their needs
When your partner is direct with their requests, take influence from your significant other by responding to what your partner asks for, and acting on those requests in a timely fashion. Leave no room for procrastination, show up.
4. Express gratitude
Speak words of acknowledgment, appreciation, and gratitude not only for what your partner does but for who your partner is. Research on relational satisfaction confirms the importance of gratitude.
5. Take care with humor
When using humor to enliven the relationship, be careful to only playfully tease and not wound with sharp barbs.
6. Only compare the positive
Only make comparisons to others to call attention to your partner’s strengths and talents.
7. Keep trust sacred
Research on attachment and trust validates how there are intimate details only you are privileged to know, so never violate confidentiality.
8. Commit to resolve conflict
Become a worthy opponent to carefully spar with your partner to work out differences during a conflict.
9. Complain with compassion
When bringing a complaint, be careful not to go over the line to criticism.
10. Cut the sarcasm
Replace cutting sarcasm with gentle language.
11. Keep complaints private
Speak directly to your partner rather than sharing your complaints with others.
12. Avoid contempt
Delete all forms of contempt, including rolling of the eyes. The connection between contempt, anger, and violence has been outlined by research.
13. Watch your tone
Delete any impatient and irritable tone from your communication.
14. Be reassuring of mistakes
When your partner makes unskillful choices, be compassionate and reassuring by saying something like, "We all make mistakes and can learn from them."
15. Validate each other
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Validate your significant other's offerings with encouraging words, like "You’re full of good ideas."
16. Be a collaborator
Make room for your partner's style. There are many ways to get things accomplished.
17. Present options
Assure your partner there is room for many opinions.
18. Give support
Support your partner’s choices whenever you possibly can.
19. Acknowledge their part
Acknowledge whatever level of financial contribution your partner makes to the family expenses.
20. Point out their contributions
Acknowledge how much your partner contributes to you and the family on a non-material, emotional level.
21.. Always apologize
A review of research from the University of Illinois demonstrates that when you make an unskillful choice, apologize as soon as possible.
22. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for ways you harm your partner and get busy learning from all breakdowns so you don’t continue to harm your relationship.
23. Offer forgiveness
Be quick to offer forgiveness when your partner makes unskillful choices.
24. Express pride
Tell your partner you are proud of them.
25. Show respect
Declare your respect not only to your partner but also in front of witnesses. Be sure to tell your partner that you are overjoyed with the partnership you are co-creating and how pleased you are to have a partner that is worthy of your respect.
When it comes to having a healthy relationship, you don't have to limit yourself to the 25 ways above. They are just a starter kit; you can come up with some splendid ideas of your own to show respectful behavior towards your partner.
If you follow this simple relationship advice, you have a right to expect the evidence will start to show itself of a more enriched partnership. Don’t just take our word for it. Look at your own experience and see what you discover. And be sure to enjoy the exciting process as much as you can.
Linda Bloom, LCSW, and Charlie Bloom, MSW, are psychotherapists and relationship counselors who have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975.