11 Subtle Signs A Partner Has Lost Feelings (And Might End Things)
If these signs sound familiar, don't not wait until it’s too late to fix things.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock It hurts to have to even question whether or not a partner is losing feelings. No one wants to imagine a future without someone they love.
That’s why it is so important to try and communicate early on so it doesn’t get to the point of not having a future together. The signs, behaviors, and actions of partners who are losing interest are subtle and at times, may even seem "normal" in some relationships.
Don’t get too comfortable. Make sure you address the issue before too much time passes and it’s too late to fix the relationship.
If you think your partner is falling out of love with you or your relationship, take note of these subtle signs listed and make sure to catch them early enough so there’s a better chance of staying together.
Here are 11 subtle signs a partner has lost feelings and might end things:
1. They suddenly have a new obsession
Everyone has passions and hobbies they should like participating in. But, it becomes worrisome when a passion or hobby is being used as a distraction or a way of avoiding the relationship.
If less time is being spent with you and more time is being spent on a hobby, it may be a way of ignoring the relationship. Pay attention to the amount of time being spent on a hobby, and the amount of time spent with you.
2. They give up on their appearance
When one partner gives up on their appearance and doesn’t make an effort to shave or clean up, that partner is showing no concern or worry that the other finds them attractive.
Not cleaning up for a night out on the town or hanging out with friends may indicate an avoidance of intimacy altogether.
3. There's minimal to no cuddling
In the beginning of the relationship, cuddling was natural to feel close to one another. Cuddling is one of the ways couples feel close to each other, as supported by a 2019 study from Auburn University.
If there’s minimal to no cuddling anymore, it may mean they aren’t concerned or interested in meeting your intimacy needs, as shown in a study from 1990.
4. They don’t ask about your day
This just shows an overall lack of interest in whatever it is you do on your day-to-day. If they don’t ask about your day, it may also be a sign that it’s not that important to them.
5. They refuse to discuss what’s bothering them
They don’t want to talk about what’s bothering them because it may make them feel uncomfortable. What is the best solution to discomfort? Avoidance, as revealed in 2013 research. They don’t want to discuss anything that may bring feelings of discomfort.
6. They don’t hold your hand anymore
Holding hands usually comes naturally to couples. If they aren’t holding your hand, it can mean they have a lack of interest in being physically close and connected to the other.
7. They no longer talk about the future or avoid the topic altogether
The future a couple once had that involved a family and buying a house becomes a distant memory of what a couple once shared.
Mladen Mitrinovic via Shutterstock
8. There's a lack of eye contact
Nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, says a lot about how much a person values another and how important a person is to them, as shown in the University of Montevallo research from 2019. If there is minimal eye contact within the relationship, it’s time to question their feelings and why this change has occurred.
9. Communication becomes less frequent
Lack of communication needs to be detected early for the relationship to be saved. If it’s not addressed early enough, it allows them to emotionally withdraw from the relationship completely.
10. Conversations have become surface-level discussions
Your conversations and discussions become relatively uninteresting and at times, meaningless. For example, you may ask about a baseball game or game show your partner is watching and that is as far as it goes. Discussion about the relationship and issues within the relationship are avoided.
11. They act uncomfortable around other couples who are happy
While other couples may be holding hands or have their arms around each other, your partner may seem agitated or annoyed in their company. It may feel awkward for you both to be around "happy" couples.
Take action early. Do not wait until it’s too late. Don’t get the thought in your head that you are nagging because you’re not.
You have every right to know what is going on in your partner’s life and how your partner feels within the relationship. Communication is key and if your partner is unable to communicate their feelings and issues in the relationship, then they aren’t worth it and you deserve better.
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor. She writes about relationships, organizational psychology and behavior, personality psychology, and more.