Man Asks If He's Wrong For Refusing To Let His Fiancée Continue Living With Him After She Broke Off Their Engagement
He tried to argue that there was no point in the two of them living together if they weren't planning on getting married.
Yurii_Yarema | Shutterstock A recently single man questioned if he was wrong for telling his ex-fiancée that she needed to move out of their shared home and back in with her parents after ending their relationship.
Posting to Reddit he shared that his ex-fiancée accused him of not loving her because of his reaction to calling off their engagement.
He doesn't want his ex-fiancée to continue living with him after she broke off their engagement.
"My ex-fiancée broke up with me because she felt that we barely saw each other which is a lie. I work in a family restaurant, and by the time my fiancée gets off work, I wouldn't make it home until 3-5 hours after her depending on the day," he began in his Reddit post. He claimed that his fiancée wanted him to find a new job because she thought it wasn't fair that she worked longer hours than him and didn't feel as if they were spending enough time together.
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He argued that he had no desire to quit his job and that, realistically, it would be beneficial for both of them if she were to just work with him since she'd be able to get more time off, and it would solve the issue of not being able to see each other. She didn't agree, telling him that she wasn't comfortable working for his parents, which he accepted.
"She'd still complain from time to time, but I never thought she'd break up with me for it," he continued. "Well, she did, and she said my work schedule was the reason. This upset me deeply because I didn't understand. I don't work Sundays or Mondays, and I get to spend time with her Tuesday mornings and Saturday mornings before I go to work. I thought we were past it, but I was wrong."
When she broke off their engagement, he was deeply 'hurt' by it and her request that they 'stay friends.'
She was incredibly apologetic about ending their engagement, pointing out that she didn't see their marriage flourishing based on their work schedules and his unwillingness to find a new job to accommodate her worries.
He tried to explain to her that she knew about his work schedule before they got engaged, but she refused to see his side.
It's clear that there was some miscommunication, especially on her part regarding his work schedule and the fact that she didn't think he spent enough time with her. Maybe she assumed that once they were engaged and their relationship became more serious, he'd reevaluate, but unfortunately, he had no idea just how much it bothered her.
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After their break up, he attempted to avoid her because he didn't want to see her and instead wanted to take the necessary steps to move on and heal.
It was a bit hard to do since they lived together, and he felt that he couldn't be comfortable in his own home.
"I told her that I felt that she needed to go and since we weren't getting married anymore there was no point in us living together. She asked me if I was serious, and I told her that I was," he added.
She tried to reason with him, insisting that she should still be allowed to live with him because she didn't want to have to live with her parents.
It might seem a bit cruel on her part for her ex-fiancé to essentially tell her she needed to leave, but when a relationship ends, it's usually healthier for both parties to go their separate ways and move on.
According to Psychology Today, cutting contact with an ex is the best way to gain perspective on the failings of the relationship, which will inevitably help any future relationships. More importantly, "It allows you to rebuild your life, explore new interests, and invest in your own well-being."
If she had been planning to break up with him, which is something she's entitled to do, especially if she felt that they had no future together based on their different schedules, then she should've anticipated moving out and finding a place of her own. It's almost strange that she would want to stay with him.
On top of that, having to live with her parents again doesn't have to be a permanent solution if she doesn't want it to be. She can save up money and find a place of her own, but for the sake of both her and her ex-fiancé, it might be a better and more seamless end to their relationship if they just truly went their separate ways.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.