6 Behaviors Of Someone Who Is Only Capable Of Giving You The Bare Minimum
Receiving the bare minimum can lead to you feeling frustrated and undervalued.
microcosmos | Shutterstock In any relationship, whether it be romantic, familial, or platonic, we all want emotional connection, support, and effort. However, there is one thing that we definitely don't desire, but unfortunately, many receive: the bare minimum. Yes, these are the words that your friends use to tell you that the guy that you're seeing isn’t giving you what you deserve. Â
When someone is only capable of giving you the bare minimum, it can leave you feeling frustrated and undervalued. But sometimes, it's not so easy to tell if your feelings are based on your own insecurities or your partner's lack of effort. There are signs you can watch out for, however. Global wellness company SelfworkCo., shared an Instagram post detailing the six signs to watch out for if you suspect someone is giving you the bare minimum in your relationship.
Six behaviors of a partner who can only give you the bare minimum in your relationship:
1. 'They rarely express gratitude or acknowledge your contributions
One of the first signs of receiving the bare minimum is your partner’s inability or unwillingness to express gratitude or acknowledge your contributions. It doesn't matter if they do anything overtly wrong or hurtful, just failing to show appreciation for your efforts in the relationship is a red flag.Â
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Having your partner acknowledge your efforts, whether big or small, is a crucial part of any healthy relationship. However, when this is missing, it could leave you feeling unnoticed or undervalued. This can eventually make you feel like your actions or even presence are being taken for granted.
A study from 2010 found that healthy, happy relationships not only promote a sense of mental well-being but improve physical health, as well. In fact, couples in long-term marriages who spend time together and appreciate each other have a longer lifespan than those who feel lonely or unhappy in love.Â
Being in a one-sided relationship will lead to feelings of resentment and anger. These feelings will ultimately grow until they impact your overall well-being. Instead of accepting your partner's lack of gratitude, communicate your needs. If they can't grow and adapt to meet your needs, it might be time to move on.
2. 'They frequently make promises they don't keep'
No one likes a broken promise, but an empty promise? That might be even worse. That is another key sign that you're receiving the bare minimum from your partner.Â
Whether it's canceling plans or simply not keeping their word, a person who is only capable of giving you the bare minimum does not care if they break your trust. These empty promises could seem harmless at first, but gradually, over time, they can build up and show a lack of effort in your relationship.
Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, explained, "When your partner’s actions are not aligned with their words, you will begin to learn that they are not trustworthy. Repeated violations or consistent hurtful behaviors erode trust."
3. 'They don’t do anything wrong, but they also don’t do much that’s kind, thoughtful, and demonstrative'
No one should ever be treated poorly in a relationship, and that's an immediate red flag for walking away and never looking back. Unfortunately, a partner who doesn't "do" anything — no kind gestures, no spontaneous physical contact, no loving gestures at all — may not put you in physical danger, but that lack of love can wreak havoc on your psyche.
You deserve someone who is all in. It's as simple as that. If your partner, after discussing it with them, isn't willing to make an effort, you should not keep spinning your wheels, hoping one day they will change.
4. 'They don't ask you questions about yourself'
When you are truly connected with someone, you want to know what they think and how they feel, especially about the things they are most passionate about. If your partner isn't interested in your life, your likes, your hopes, and your views on the world, it's highly likely they aren't committed to a lasting partnership.
It's a particularly hard pill to swallow, especially when you want to keep learning about them.
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5. 'They don't notice when you're upset'
When someone gives you the bare minimum, their emotional presence is shallow. This can leave you feeling disconnected in your own relationship, and if you visibly show your frustration, they'll fail to notice. This emotional neglect is isolating, even when the person is physically around.
When your partner doesn't notice your moods or your distress, they are emotionally unavailable. These partners, according to Healthline, will have difficulty taking a relationship past the casual getting-to-know-you stage.Â
Of course, if you want to keep things casual, that's absolutely okay. If, however, you are looking for a deeper connection, a person who is emotionally unavailable and is not willing to seek help to overcome this trait will never be able to give you what you want.
6. 'You don't feel valued or cherished'
Last but not least, when your partner is only capable of giving you the bare minimum, they will make you feel guilty for setting time aside just for you. This shows that you're clearly not a priority to them, and their effort in the relationship is below the bar — that's correct, below the bar, and even worse, it was already low to begin with.Â
When someone doesn’t value or cherish you, it can leave you feeling unappreciated and emotionally drained. Eventually, you might even begin to question your worth in the relationship. Feeling like you're just another task on their to-do list is a powerful sign that you're not receiving the emotional investment you need or deserve.
Being in a relationship will always have its difficulties — after all, we’re humans, and we're not perfect. However, everyone deserves a partner who is willing and wants to put in the effort. A healthy relationship requires mutual effort, emotional connection, and genuine care. If your partner is showing signs that they aren't capable of giving you more than the bare minimum, it might be time to reassess your boundaries and consider whether the relationship is meeting your needs.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.