Woman Asks Twin How She Could Call Herself Her Sister After Refusing To Be Her Surrogate — ‘This Disconnect Brings Me Immense Discomfort’
Surrogacy has quite a few risks, just like any pregnancy does.
Photoroyalty | Shutterstock Wanting to have children but not being able to is a pain that many can only imagine. In times like these, it’s perfectly understandable that someone might feel desperate.
That’s how one woman felt when she asked her twin sister to be her surrogate. When her sister refused, she questioned how she could deny such a “small” request.
A woman refused to be her twin sister’s surrogate and was shocked by her response.
One woman named Celeste shared the conflict that she and her identical twin sister Stacy faced on Reddit.
“One thing I’ve always known about my sister is that she wanted to be a mom,” Celeste said. “Even when we were children, she was always thinking about wedding ideas, nursery themes, baby names, etc.”
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Celeste explained, “I have known for a while that my sister has been attempting to become pregnant, unsuccessfully. She has experienced a single miscarriage and has been unable to become pregnant again after thousands and thousands of dollars being spent on IVF and pretty much anything they could do because she wanted to experience pregnancy.”
That’s where Stacy decided that Celeste came in.
“After five years of no success, they have started to discuss other options. My sister isn’t interested in adoption and is very adamant on having a child that has both of their DNA (her words, not mine),” she said.
“About three weeks ago, she came to my house, and we were hanging out as we usually do, just chatting and watching ‘Modern Family,’” Celeste shared. “She told me she had a serious question and needed to ask me while she still had her nerves. It scared me, but she asked if I could be her surrogate.”
Celeste said that the request surprised her so much that she was momentarily “frozen.” She didn’t want children, and carrying one did not sound “appealing” to her.
The sister presented her twin experiencing fertility issues with a compromise that did not involve her carrying a baby to term.
“I told her that I would have zero issue with donating my eggs to her, however many she needed, she could have them all, but I could not carry her child,” she said. “Upon hearing that, she became so angry. Her face was so red, and she was just yelling about how it’s obvious how jealous and hateful I am because this is a small task.”
Stacy left feeling furious and has remained that way. “She broke a picture of us I have sitting on my mantel and stormed out,” Celeste said.
“Since then, she’s only texted me pictures of her diaries from when we were kids and all of [these] vision boards saying that I’m stopping her from creating a family for no reason and to think about the bigger picture.”
Surrogacy is not without its risks.
Many people think of pregnancy as this beautiful thing with no complications. But, of course, there can be very serious and messy complications. This is true whether the mother is carrying the baby or a surrogate is.
In addition to the normal dangers of pregnancy, surrogates also face unique challenges after the birth. The Institute for Family Studies pointed out that some surrogates have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the stress and trauma they face. They can also be left with unpaid medical bills when families refuse to help.
Jennifer Lahl, from the Center for Bioethics and Culture Network, told the Institute for Family Studies that surrogates “feel as if they have been hired to do a job, and that job is a paid breeder.”
Furthermore, according to American Surrogacy, you cannot be a surrogate if you’ve never had children previously because of the associated risks.
While Stacy and even Celeste might want to believe that Celeste serving as a surrogate mother would be an incredible experience that would bring them closer together, there is really no way to know what Celeste could go through.
Stacy has to keep that in mind and respect her sister’s decision.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.