Mom Admits That She Finds Parenting To Be A 'Deeply Unsatisfying' Role
"I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough."
fast-stock | Shutterstock While there are aspects of parenting that are considered beautiful and fulfilling, there are other moments that can be quite challenging. Having children requires a serious commitment, and sometimes parents feel as if the entire world is resting on their shoulders.
Instead of hiding from the truth about parenthood and motherhood, a content creator, award-winning author, and mom named Celeste Yvonne admitted that while she loves her children with every fiber of her being, there are some aspects of raising tiny humans into competent adults that isn't all it's cracked up to be.
She shared her "hot take" in a TikTok video, and hundreds of other moms were relieved to know they weren't alone.
The mom confessed that she finds parenting to be a 'deeply unsatisfying' role.
"Don't come at me. But for the most part, motherhood is deeply unsatisfying. And we don't talk about it enough," Celeste bluntly stated. "I love being a mom, and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as [a] mother is not satisfying."
She explained that most of her day-to-day activities when it comes to her children are picking up after them, which can become quite monotonous. Since her children are still young, Celeste spends most of her time cleaning their messes, telling them to wash their hands, and convincing them to eat the meals she prepares. It's a lot of unglamorous moments that make parenthood feel unsatisfying.
"I do not go to bed most nights feeling satisfied in my role as a mother. If anything, I go to bed with intrusive thoughts, worrying about their future, feeling like I didn’t do a good enough job," she continued.
This mindset is something that many parents, especially mothers, deal with. You're constantly worrying if your parenting style is enough for your children, and if you're doing a good job raising them or if it's all for nothing.
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It seems a bit taboo for parents to admit that they have no idea what they're doing, but the more that people like Celeste open up and share their fears and insecurities, the easier it can be for parents to find a community of people who are going through the same struggles as them.
Parenting doesn't come with a handbook or a guide manual. It's the only job that exists where it's simply trial and error. Parents are bound to make the wrong choices, but the most important thing is being there emotionally for your children and loving them through everything.
The mom pointed out that it's time more parents admit that having children isn't always an easy task.
"I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough," she continued. "For a long time, I felt like I was doing it wrong because I saw other people, other moms on social media, beaming and glowing about the milestones, talking about how satisfying this role is, and wondering if I was doing it wrong."
Motherhood doesn't look the same for every woman, and it's naive for people to assume that just because they're seeing the highlight reel on social media, that it's all flowers and rainbows.
It's exhausting and overwhelming for many mothers, especially those who are also working full-time jobs on top of taking care of their kids.
Over 65% of parents in the United States say the demands of parenthood can feel isolating and lonely, according to a nationwide survey published by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. In the survey, around 62% of parents report feeling burned out, while 38% report having no support in their parenting role, and nearly 80% say they long for a way to connect with other parents outside of the home.
Compared to dads, moms experience feelings of loneliness more acutely, which can greatly impact not only their mental health but their children's as well.
It's why mothers are urged to find things to do outside of being a parent, whether that's picking up a new hobby, going on solo outings, or just spending time away from their children to fulfill the other parts of their personality.
However, mothers should feel as if they have a safe space to talk about the realities of being a parent without feeling judged or shamed for it.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.