7 Things Good Parents Always Make An Effort To Do For Their Kids, According To The Adult Children They Raised
No parent is perfect, but some come close.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock As adults, much of how we interact with the world, communicate with others, deal with problems, nurture relationships, and even view ourselves comes from childhood. Those formative years — and how our parents treated us during them — impact how we maneuver through adulthood, good and bad.
No parent is perfect, but some adult children on Reddit shared a few things that their "good parents" did right.
Here are 7 things good parents make an effort to do for their kids:
1. Always support their dreams and goals.
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"My parents are imperfect, but they did a lot of things right," one Reddit wrote. "The biggest one that sticks out to me is that they're supportive of things my brother and I like even when they don't understand or like it."
"They didn't really care for skateboarding, but they spent hundreds of dollars over the years for my brother to enjoy his hobby. They not only helped me get a drum set but allowed the band to hold practice in our basement and drove us to all our shows. They wanted me to be a lawyer, but they were willing to settle for [a] line cook."
"It made a difference in the long run because eventually, it helped me realize that I get to make my own choices in life," they concluded. "Nothing is laid out for me. I can do whatever I enjoy, and my parents will be there for me, cheering me on."
2. Don't shelter them.
"That covers everything from seeing the diversity of society (rich, poor, healthy, sick, etc) to experiencing my own personal disappointments (losing in sports, saying no when asked to buy me a new video game, etc). I was allowed to grow as an individual. They were always there for support when I needed it, but I was never coddled or protected from things," a Redditor recalled.
It might seem like a parent's job to shield their kids from all of the imperfections and failures that occur throughout their lives, but parents who do so excessively, do their kids a disservice. While, to an extent, kids should be protected, they should also be allowed to experience lows and disappointments so they can grow, learn, and excel when they try again.
3. Lead by example.
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"My parents never expected things out of me that they didn't live by themselves, whether it was something as simple as being open and honest to our entire family or something more complicated like living within your means, budgeting, and treating all people with total kindness," one commenter shared. "It's a lot easier as a kid to look up to your parents when they live their daily lives by the same values they taught me."
4. Break the generational cycle of trauma.
"My parents weren't perfect and they weren't wealthy. My dad was abandoned as a child, in a state thousands of miles away from home, raised with a bunch of people he wasn't related to. My mom was a child of divorced parents, abused and hated by her step-parents," one user shared. "They found each other and worked so me, my sister, and my brother never had to go through those same troubles."
"Both of my parents have trauma from their youth. My dad can be paranoid [and] my mom struggles with depression, but they never abandoned us. Sometimes they argue, sometimes they yell, but they never laid hands on each other."
"They've been there for me countless times, even when it cost everything. Now that I'm older I'm trying my hardest to be there for them because I know now what they've done for us. They broke the cycle."
5. Talk openly.
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"The biggest thing was they always explained their actions and we're willing to discuss why, and occasionally even change their mind," a Redditor recalled. "It was never, 'No because I said so.' I didn't really have a rebellious phase because they never [forbade] anything, it was always, 'Well you can do that when you don't live here.'"
Another Reddit user chimed in with a similar experience, writing, "My mum never really did either, but I think it helped that I was a sensible kid. We talked casually about the dangers of drinking but then she would ask if I wanted to try some of her wine or G&T or whatever."
"We also talked about the risks of teenage pregnancy, and she took me to my appointments to go on the pill, and later get an implant," she continued. "I think that, because I could talk to her about this kind of stuff, I was educated enough to not do stupid things."
6. Accept them, no matter what.
"My parents are very open-minded and accepting people. I remember multiple times when me and my siblings were young they would say, 'We don’t care what or who you are,' and that really stuck with me because of my orientation. When I actually came out to them both of them never backed out of their word and accepted me for who I am," a woman candidly shared.
This is thankfully becoming quite common between parents and their children. According to recent surveys, around 70% or more of parents are now considered accepting of their children coming out.
7. Love them unconditionally — and make sure they know it.
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"They made sure I knew I was unconditionally loved," one user wrote. "We went to the library together a lot. We had responsibilities. We had pets. We grew vegetables. They believed in me and let me do my own thing. We cooked together. We cherished our favorite books, listened to music, [and] even wrote poetry together. We didn't have tons of money but we had a stable home."
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.