9 Things Every Smart, Childfree Couple Does Before Having Kids Turns Their Lives Upside Down
From finances to freedom, here's how savvy couples future-proof their lives before diving into parenthood.
Lethicia Matos | Unsplash Having kids changes everything. Suddenly, your life is no longer your own and everything you knew before gets thrown out the window. This isn’t a bad thing; it's just a different thing.
Those who want to have a family welcome the change with open arms, but even they can admit the truth — after the baby comes home with them, their lives will never be the same again. So, before you have those mini versions of yourself, and completely devote every waking hour to working toward being a mom of the year, you and your partner should do a few things before you have kids.
Here are things every smart, childfree couple does before having kids turns their lives upside down:
1. Travel the world
Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock
Traveling is one of the most exciting things you can do... and something that becomes nearly impossible once you have a kid.
Sure, you can schlep your kid from Morocco to Thailand, staying in hostels, but do you want to? Probably not. Traveling is best when it's done solo or with your partner-in-crime.
2. Sleep late
Yuri A / Shutterstock
Take advantage of those lazy Saturdays and Sundays. Sleep until 3 PM if you want to, and then take a nap after dinner just because you can.
You're not only indulging in something you can virtually kiss goodbye once you have a kid; you're also building up on sleep in preparation for when you don't have any at all.
3. Make spontaneous dinner reservations
La Famiglia / Shutterstock
From spontaneous dinner reservations to booking a last-minute flight to Paris, just do it. Relish in the fact that you don't have to plan things months in advance, and you don't have to feel guilty about wanting to do things sans your little bundle of joy.
Couples should prioritize spontaneity before having children to strengthen their bond and enjoy a period of freedom and shared experiences that may be harder to maintain later. Research by The Gottman Institute found that by addressing any underlying issues or communication problems before having children, couples can increase the chances of a happy and healthy relationship while raising a family.
4. Enjoy alone time as a couple
Miljan Zivkovic / Shutterstock
Before you have a baby, you really want to take advantage of it just being you and your husband or partner.
You really want to explore your relationship, intimately and otherwise, and really focus on your love for each other. You want to make sure you have an unbreakable bond before you bring someone else into the picture.
5. Enjoy their 'me' time
fizkes / Shutterstock
Not only do you want to focus on your love for each other, but your love for yourself. Go away for a weekend alone, spend time with your friends, or just cuddle up in bed with a book, completely undisturbed from the outside world.
This is your moment to commit to yourself and the relationship you have with yourself before your days and nights are full of interruptions.
6. Spoil themselves
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock
Spoil yourselves rotten. Get an expensive bottle of wine. Go to the fancy restaurants with the month-long wait. Buy the designer clothes now; eventually, you'll only want to wear stuff from the Gap because it will be covered in spit-up 90 percent of the time.
A 2021 study explained that couples should prioritize and nurture their relationship before having children. The transition to parenthood can significantly strain partnerships, leading to increased conflict and decreased satisfaction. Focusing on each other's needs and maintaining a strong bond before children arrive can help couples navigate the challenges of parenthood more effectively.
7. Spend time with other people's kids
fizkes / Shutterstock
Even if you know for a fact that you absolutely, positively, want to have a kid, you might want to spend some time with the kids of your friends and family first.
This isn't to suggest that watching your nephew throwing a fit over having to share his lightsaber with his brother will dissuade you in any way from having a little monster of your own, but it's a good idea to give yourself a heads up as to what to expect. Even the most angelic babies can have their jerky moments.
8. Open a savings account specifically for their child
Rido / Shutterstock
In between all that traveling and spoiling yourself, it's also important to financially prepare for your baby. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, it will cost a middle-income couple just over $245,000 to raise a child to the age of 18.
And that's before they get into Harvard, which is projected to cost an undergrad student $64,000 to $69,000 per school year. Yes, that's per year. Although, maybe you'll get lucky and have a super-smart kid who gets a full ride.
9. Enjoy being a kid
DavideAngelini / Shutterstock
Once you have a kid, you no longer get to be a kid yourself. So, before you hand over the reins to someone else in your family, as far as the kid thing goes, live it up while you can.
Enjoy that your responsibilities are minimal, that you don't need to be home at a certain time, and that you can drink the milk directly out of the bottle without your partner freaking out about "germs that will kill the baby." Hold onto your childlike ways as long as you can... and then grow up.
Couples can benefit from enjoying their young, child-free years to establish a strong foundation for their relationship before parenthood's significant changes. The Pew Research Center found that this allows for more focused relationship time and personal growth. Some couples may prefer a child-free lifestyle, and having the freedom to choose that path is essential.
Amanda Chatel has been a wellness and relationship journalist for over a decade. Her work has been featured in Glamour, Shape, Self, and other outlets. Michelle Toglia is the Executive Editor at Elite Daily, overseeing the site's entertainment, news, style, dating, and experiences coverage.