11 Things Adult Children Don't Realize They Do To Make Their Parents Proud
You may not realize it, but your parents are probably proud of you.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Parents are the most significant influence in their children's lives, and as adults, we often tie our self-worth to how our parents view us. We rely on our parents to guide us through the most difficult times in our lives and through the happiest moments of our lives. When our parents nurture our self-worth and self-esteem, we create personal bonds of unconditional love for both sides in tandem.
Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein states that when we are young miscommunications between parent and child are oftentimes driven by parental misjudgment. This misjudgment causes our self-esteem to tumble which then leads us into a spiral of desperately trying to seek our parents approval. It can be hard to deteriorate between a supportive parent and a non-supportive parent. If you're struggling to see the signs that your parents are proud of you, well, worry no more.
Here are 11 things adult children don't realize they do to make their parents proud
1. They accomplish things
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When you accomplish something — literally anything — no one is more proud of you than your parents are. Your accomplishments are your parents' accomplishments. No really! Why else would they brag about you at their family dinner parties?
From graduations to marriages and birthdays, when everyone in the family gathers together it is far more than just a celebration for you — it is also a celebration of those who supported you along the way. Everyone is in this together as a family, and what each individual accomplishes is a reflection of how far all of you have come.
Your parents know this simple truth, and this is what makes them proud of you on your special day!
2. They use good manners
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We’ve all been to those family gatherings where the younger generations are consistently on their phones around the dinner table. They would rather talk to friends on apps than spend quality time with their family members. At least, that is what our parents said when we were that age.
Now that we’re adults, things have changed and we’ve finally placed the phones down. After some time maturing, we realize that we don't have that much time left with our parents or other elder relatives, so we must make the most of it.
To be well-mannered is also to be reserved and hold back any negative criticisms you have about other people’s behavior. As the saying goes, "If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all." Instead put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you would want to be humiliated in front of a bunch of people.
3. They carry on family traditions
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Family traditions are what sets us apart from other kinds of relationships. When parents see their children pass these traditions down to their grandchildren, it is heart-warming for them to see.
According to a study published in the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, families that have their own traditions are closer than families that do not. This is possibly due to the structured nature of family traditions, where there are no surprises and everyone is on the same page during the holidays.
As old family traditions slowly dissipate and are replaced by new, more modern traditions, parents can’t help but smile when they see their adult children doing the same family activities that they once shared with them.
4. They are compassionate to people in need
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If you have ever gone out of your way to help a complete stranger or an elderly relative, your parents have likely noticed it at some point.
According to a study on compassion published in the Psychological Bulletin, acts of compassion stem from witnessing another person suffering at some point in your life. From an evolutionary standpoint, we are meant to protect those who are the weakest and most vulnerable in our society.
Just as your parents protected you from dangers as a child, later on as an adult you may often return the favor. These acts of compassion don’t go unnoticed by your parents who once protected you.
5. They are kind to others
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Kindness is a wonderful trait for parents to pass on to their children. And according to research, people feel happier when they behave kindly, whether they are being kind to themselves or to others.
There is also the notion that when we perform acts of service to others it makes us feel better about ourselves. "Give to give, not to receive" is a great motto to live by when it comes to giving gifts to relatives.
When parents see their children sharing with other, it is a great example of kindness in action that makes them proud no matter what age those children are.
6. They are considerate
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When you’re a child, being considerate of others may start with giving little gifts here and there, but as an adult, kindness looks slightly different. If you find yourself volunteering at local shelters in your spare time, it's likely that your considerate behavior makes your parents proud.
To be considerate means you're in tune to how others are feeling in the moment, which is a handy skill to have.
According to the Centre for Effective Altruism, consideration can benefit you socially, as it helps you build community and helps your reputation. Being considerate can be a way of gaining social capital with your family or colleagues, and it helps if it comes from a genuine place.
Your parents probably understand your motives, seeing as they raised you to be the person you are. Either way, they are more than likely proud of the things you do to help people in your community.
7. They are dedicated to personal growth
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Let’s say you’ve been through a lot in life and your parents know it. As they witness your personal growth over the years, they reminisce about all the times where things didn't go as well for you, and this reflection makes your growth even more special to them.
According to a study conducted at the University of Missouri-Columbia, maturity requires personal growth. The more an individual is allowed to explore the world and make mistakes, the more they learn to what to do differently the next time around.
Sometimes you don’t learn the first time around. It may take you several tries to get it right. But in the end, you will — and your parents will be there for you every step of the way.
8. They pursue their hidden talents
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If you have a secret special talent in music or sports or some other area and your parents were there for you every step of the way when you were a child, they are likely to be extremely proud when you continue to pursue that talent as an adult.
Some parents might be get too invested in their children’s extracurricular activities. One study found that some "parents do indeed attempt to redeem broken dreams through their children." One the positive side, these parents may "feel pride in their children’s achievements and even heal old wounds." However, "When taken to extremes ... living vicariously through a child can damage both the child and the parent."
You may have heard of helicopter parenting, a term for parents who hover over their children consistently worrying about them even when there is no visible danger. This can be daunting for young people, and even more for adults who seek their parents approval.
However, if your parents allow you to do things that go against what they would be interested in, you can rest assured that they are proud of you no matter what you want to do.
9. They are disciplined
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If you often found yourself working on your homework as soon as you got home from school rather than playing outside with your friends, you were an extremely disciplined student. This self-discipline is probably something that your parents instilled in you in order to better prepare you for life as an adult.
Research has found found that tthe children of parents who learned to use positive discipline experienced increased academic competence and decreased hyperactive behavior.
Having discipline helps you overcome obstacles that would normally hinder you. After all, the most disciplined people map out what they want to get it done and are also more successful in life because they are willing to put in the work to get where they want to be — all of which makes their parents proud.
10. They show integrity
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To have integrity is to be trustworthy, reliable, and humble all at once. What makes an individual have integrity is how they were raised by their parents.
People who are raised to have integrity know that deceiving others is wrong. They are also some of the most honest people you will ever meet. Being a person of integrity also comes in handy for working in specific professions.
The more honest people are at their jobs, the more likely it is they will find themselves in leadership positions. So it's no mystery parents are proud when their adult children show integrity.
11. They choose a noble profession
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When your parents take an interest in your profession it is a sure fire sign that they are proud of what you do and how you do it. An analysis published in the International Journal of Innovative Science and Research Technology noted that parents "exert a very strong influence on their children’s career decisions."
Parental attitudes and values were shown to influence their children's career choices. For example, if a parent talks positively about their child's visit to the dentist, their child might see that dental appointments are something to be excited about rather than something to dread. Parents that gravitate toward these particular values see their children later join the health and medical industries, making them extremely proud.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.