The Unfortunate Curse Of Being Considerate In The Time Of Text Messaging
This old geezer is stuck in the 80s. Help!
Joy_Studio / ShutterstockIn the summer of 1987, my best friend from high school went back to visit her hometown of then Yugoslavia. I missed her immensely.
I scribbled my feelings on stationery paper, in cursive and all.
I picked out the purple hydrangea from our garden and inserted them into the envelope.
I decorated the stationery with scratch-and-smell vanilla cupcake stickers. The last touch — applying my mom’s reddest lipstick and kissing the envelope.
I cycled to the post office, half an hour away from our house, licked the stamp, and away it flew.
Every evening, giddy with anticipation, I opened the mailbox, sifting through junk mail.
When the letter arrived, I ripped the envelope, glitter spilling, me giggling, feeling warm and fuzzy. I had waited days for a response, and I was going to soak in as much detail as I could before I wrote my reply. The whole process left me giddy with excitement.
Forward to 2022.
I message my friend on WhatsApp. No response for a day. Then:
My friend: “Hey. What’s up?”
Me: “Hey, just saying hi. How are you doing?”
…2 minutes later…
My friend: “Good. Busy at work, but good. You?”
Me: “Oh, you know, just being a mom, same old.”
…8 minutes later…
My friend: “Good for you!”
Me: “How’s Thomas?”
…1 minute later…
My friend: “He’s good. Looking for a new job.”
Me: “What kinda job is he looking for?”
…Disappears
We’re all busy. I’m a mom to a 3-year-old boy, for god’s sake. I get it. One can’t expect a response to a message immediately, consistently, or with full attention — all the time. But I do like a text saying that you're going to be busy for a bit instead of waiting all day for a response.
I’m the unfortunate type who cares a whole lot about text messaging etiquette.
My husband doesn’t.
He couldn’t care less if his friends don’t respond or they leave mid-sentence.
But…how about if that happened face-to-face? Of course, he minds, he says.
Back to me being that unfortunate type who considers text messaging like face-to-face meetings.
I find it super rude to just leave without explanation or to keep the person waiting on the other side mid-conversation.
Am I just an old ‘80s fart?
Perhaps.
Should I become less caring?
Perhaps.
Do I want to?
No.
I live with the unfortunate curse of being considerate in the time of text messaging.
Can y’all relate?
June Kirri is a freelance journalist and personal essay writer who writes about culture, parenting, and mental health.