Teen’s Parents Demand To Use His College Fund To Pay For His Brother’s Wedding — 'Take Out Loans, Family Comes First'
They dubbed him selfish because he refused to compromise his education.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock We've all heard the phrase “family comes first,” but how far does that sentiment extend? A teenager on Reddit is dealing with that very question, after being asked to sacrifice his education for the sake of his family.
The teen's parents demanded he use his college fund to pay for his brother's wedding.
"I just turned 18 and recently got accepted into my dream university," the teenager wrote in a since-deleted Reddit post. "My grandparents set up a college fund for me when I was born and it has enough to cover most of my tuition."
The teenager carefully planned his educational career with the understanding that his college fund was secure. Yet, unbeknownst to him, the rest of his family had a different idea. It all came to a head when his 25-year-old brother announced that he was getting married.
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"My parents are paying for most of the wedding, but recently told me that they need to borrow from my college fund to cover extra costs," he recalled. "I was shocked and told them no since that money was meant for my education."
The teen's family called him selfish when he refused.
"They argued that I could just take out student loans and that family comes first," he continued. "My brother and his fiancé also called me selfish, saying I should help out since they want a big wedding."
To suggest he take out student loans when he could pay for his education in full is an outrageous and inconsiderate request. Research shows that young college graduates with student loans are significantly more likely to struggle financially than those without them.
"A quarter of college graduates ages 25 to 39 with loans say they are either 'finding it difficult to get by' financially or are 'just getting by,' compared with 9% of those without loans," the Pew Research Center reported. "And while only 29% of young college graduates with outstanding student loans say they are living comfortably, 53% of those without loans say the same."
Taking out student loans would be a major sacrifice with a long-lasting impact — a fact the Redditor's family seems to ignore. "Now my parents are saying they're disappointed in me and my brother isn't speaking to me," the teenager concluded, asking fellow Redditors if he was in the wrong for his refusal.
The Redditor is not obligated to give up his college fund, and to ask at all was unfair.
The fund in question was set up specifically to pay for the teenager's education — something arguably more important than a wedding. His parents should never have asked him to disregard his long-term goals and jeopardize his future to help pay for a one-day celebration for his older sibling.
While weddings are certainly expensive — the average cost of a wedding in 2024 was about $33,000 — it is not up to the family of the bride and groom to cover the expenses unless they offer. No one should be strongarmed into jeopardizing their financial security for the sake of what is essentially a party. If his brother could not afford a "big wedding" then he and his fiancé must plan an event more within their means.
Despite his family's claims, this Redditor was not at all selfish in his refusal. The fact that his family attempted to guilt trip him into giving up his education fund is a far more selfish act. Good on him for standing his ground.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.