16-Year-Old Daughter Feels 'Entitled' To The $1900 Monthly Child Support Payments Her Mom Gets From Her Dad
Is the daughter in the right for wanting her child support money?
Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock / Billion Photos via Canva Child support is a touchy subject, especially when it comes to the amount and how the money should be spent.
In a Facebook post, a frustrated mother shared a text message she received from her daughter, expressing her discontent about how the child support money her dad provides is being spent.
The teen daughter feels entitled to the full $1,900 child support payment from her dad.
The text message from the 16-year-old to her mother made its way onto TikTok, and Jessica Bailey Hassan offered her two cents on the topic.
The crux of the daughter's argument is that her mother doesn’t use the money solely on her needs and wants. Instead, the money goes to household expenses which includes expenses associated with her stepsiblings.
The daughter goes on to say that she feels that her mother is "taking advantage" of her, and she doesn’t like that she has to struggle to get what she wants when her mother is receiving $1,900 a month from her ex.
Ultimately, the teen girl wants to live with her dad and doesn't want her mom to put up a fight about it. Surprisingly, Hassan agreed. Her take: once the daughter turns 18, she can do whatever she wants, so the mother should "just let her go."
The comment section provided interesting insights into the situation. Many stated that there isn’t enough information in order to make a judgment, with one person saying, “This is hard to judge, I’d need context. On one hand, daughter might not get what it’s for. On another, it seems there’s tension between them.”
Another commenter chimed in, “Most child support is a reimbursement to the primary parent. Primary parent is still allowed to say no and delegate consequences.”
The mom thinks her ex is putting things in her daughter's head.
The expenses that have been incurred through raising a child as a custodial parent are expected to be covered by the child support that the non-custodial parent provides. The expenses include food, education, clothes, and other related costs. Child support is essentially a financial agreement between two parents on how the child will be provided for.
The daughter mentions that her father was the one who told her about how much child support he was paying. It is possible that the father is trying to alienate his daughter from her mother, which is a bit worrying.
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
Parental alienation is using negativity to turn a child against their parent. A sign of parental alienation is sharing child support issues with the child. The daughter mentions that she wants to move in with her dad, which would mean that her father wouldn't have to pay for child support. Drawing from the context clues, the daughter views the father as the better option despite her living with her mother for a reason.
We don't know what made teen's father share the child support amount with his daughter or how the situation came to be. What we do know, however, is that the daughter wants to understand why her mother spends the child support money the way she chooses, and the mother wonders how she can approach this situation since she doesn't know if this is her daughter speaking or her ex influencing her.
The 16-year-old believes it's not fair that her mom benefits from child support when she doesn't.
The daughter highlights how her mother always says no when she asks for something, and doesn't understand why her mother seems to spend the child support money on everything else, including her siblings. The daughter mentions that if it wasn't for her, her mother wouldn't be able to afford the house that they live in.
Photo: ITTIGallery / Shutterstock
On the surface, the daughter comes off as entitled, but when you look more closely, her argument does seem to bring up questions about how exactly the money is being spent.
It's pefectly acceptable for child support money to go towards household payments, including the mortgage — that's where the child lives, after all. But it certainly sounds like mom should share these details so it's understood.
It can be a difficult conversation to have, but it's clear that the daughter wants to know the "whys" behind her mother's financial decisions. The daughter deserves to know how the child support money is being spent, since she's operating under the assumption that her mother spends the money on everything else but her.
Jen Hemphill, a financial expert, told NPR, "If you're transparent about your money choices instead of leaving kids in the dark, you're setting them up better for success by helping them understand the power money can hold and providing opportunities to learn from your mistakes together."
The mother can go through her budget, her income, and what she spends money on. The mother can have her daughter start her own financial journey to gain a better understanding of how money works by setting up a bank account for her, discussing the uses of a debit card, and how to save money.
Being a parent is difficult, especially with the stresses of maintaining finances for the family. If your child is asking questions about money, this is the perfect opportunity to have a discussion about finances and what money means. It will allow your child to gain a better understanding and recognize how money works.
Amani Semper is a writer for YourTango's Entertainment & News team. She focuses on pop culture and human interest topics.