Your Parents Did A Phenomenal Job Raising You If You Heard This One Phrase As A Kid
A bit of reassurance goes a long way.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock Most parents do their best to raise their kids with the love and support they need. Of course, no one is perfect, and parents are quite literally learning on the job. Some signs indicate that they did a great job raising you, though, including one phrase a parenting expert recently shared.
The expert said that your parents did a phenomenal job raising you if they used this one phrase.
Kirk Martin Kirk is the host of the Calm Parenting Podcast. In a recent TikTok, he shared a special phrase that can help build your kids up in a unique way. It’s fairly simple, but really profound: “I believe you’re capable.”
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Kirk offered some examples of how this phrase could be used to encourage children. “I believe you’re capable of using your imagination to solve your own boredom,” he said. “I believe you’re capable of handling that frustration. Look, I know that essay is hard, but I believe you’re capable of using your creativity to come up with a really cool story.”
This phrase really is ingenious. It lets kids know that you believe in them and their abilities — that you think they are enough and can take care of what they need to on their own.
“When we say that, what we’re communicating is, 'Hey, you can handle this,'' Kirk affirmed. “See, I want kids facing adversity so they learn how to handle it, and so they know [they] can handle tough things in life.”
Coming from a parent, this phrase provides children with a major self-esteem boost.
Parents need to show that they believe in their children. This is how they build their confidence and self-esteem. According to Nemours Kids Health, building a kid’s self-esteem ensures that they feel good about themselves, which is something any good parent wants.
“Kids who feel good about themselves have the confidence to try their best at new things,” they said. “They feel proud of what they can do. Self-esteem also helps kids cope with mistakes. They feel encouraged to try again, even if they fail at first.”
Conversely, when parents don’t show kids this kind of reassurance, it can have the exact opposite effect. Nemours Kids Health continued, “Kids with low self-esteem feel unsure of themselves. If they think others won’t accept them, they may not join in. They may let others treat them poorly and have a hard time standing up for themselves. They may give up easily or not try at all. Kids with low self-esteem find it hard to cope when they make a mistake, lose, or fail.”
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Kids who are not adequately supported by their parents will not have the level of self-esteem that is necessary to be successful and feel like they are, in fact, capable. Being verbally reminded of this can make a huge difference.
Other TikTokers shared examples of how this and similar sentiments affected their lives as kids.
“My dad talked to me like this!” one person commented. “It should also be balanced out with support and recognition that sometimes things are too hard because now I’m hyper-independent and burnt out.”
Another added, “My dad talked to me like this, definitely without knowing, but he uses that phrase even now and I’m 30!”
When you’re a young kid, you’ll believe whatever your parents tell you. Hopefully, your parents took advantage of this by building your confidence and letting you know that you truly are capable.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.