New Mom Stages An 'Intervention' To Address Her Husband's Unsafe Parenting Behaviors
"I feel like I can't leave him alone with the baby."
Kaspars Grinvalds | Shutterstock To some degree, parents must be cautious to effectively care for and protect their children. It's entirely normal for new parents to have a heightened sense of vigilance — babies just seem so fragile!
One mom on Reddit was concerned about her baby's safety when in the care of her husband. Although he wants to be an engaged father, some of his actions have her worried.
The mom was concerned about her husband's unsafe parenting behaviors.
“We have a 10-week-old baby,” the mom wrote in her post. “[My] husband absolutely adores him and wants to spend every available moment with him.” Despite her husband’s obvious love for their child, she found some of his actions alarming.
“I know he wants to be an amazing father; however, he engages in unsafe behaviors like falling asleep on the couch while baby is contact napping, leaving baby on the playmat unattended while the dog is in the room, or putting baby [down] for a day nap with his bib still on,” she explained.
Jaren Jai Wicklund | Shutterstock
The woman and her husband have very different views about how this behavior could potentially affect their baby. “[My] husband claims I’m too anxious, making a big deal out of nothing — baby can’t roll yet and the dog won’t hurt him, he holds baby firmly while sleeping, etc,” she detailed.
Adding to the problem may be her reactions. The mom admittedly freaks out, putting her husband on the defensive. “But he is being unsafe and it stresses me out," she wrote. "I feel like I can’t leave him alone with the baby which only offends him more."
The mom was so concerned that she staged an intervention.
“Last week, I had enough and asked my [mother-in-law] and [sister-in-law] to talk to him,” she admitted. “They took my side and ripped him a new one.”
This, of course, did nothing to help her cause with her husband. “Now [my] husband is angry that I brought him into it and made 'a whole intervention' like he’s such a bad dad,” she wrote.
However, other Reddit users felt that the intervention was justified.
"Your babies safety is important and comes first — not your husbands ego,” one Redditor wrote. "Why risk it when following safety measures means your child would be safe and not following them means, if he's wrong, your child could be seriously injured or die."
Another user validated the woman’s decision to involve her in-laws, writing, “Normally I err on the side of ‘fix things between spouses’ but you’ve tried to talk to him and it didn’t work, so I don’t blame you for involving his family.”
Her husband's parenting behavior was indeed unsafe.
The mom wasn't overreacting. She was right to worry about her baby’s safety, especially with him being so young and small. Her husband unintentionally endangered their child and his behavior needed to be addressed.
To start, the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly warns against sleeping while holding your infant as it puts the baby at risk for sleep-related infant deaths, including sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), accidental suffocation, and accidental strangulation. About 3,700 infants die from SIDS each year.
A baby wearing a bib to sleep further increases the risk of SIDS and suffocation.
The American Academy of Pediatrics also said that babies should not be left alone with a dog. No matter how much you trust your beloved pooch, the risk for both the animal and the baby is far too great, especially considering children are three times more likely to get bitten than adults.
Clearly, this mom had a right to be concerned, and even to freak out a bit. Her child's safety is of the utmost importance. As one commenter put it, “A safe baby is more important than hurt feelings."
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.