New Mom Won't Let Her In-Laws See Her Daughter Until They Apologize For Disrupting Her Birth
“This was supposed to be a private, special moment for my husband and me, and they completely violated that.”
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock Giving birth is a special time for a mother and baby. It’s the mom’s first chance to meet the little human she’s been carrying in her body for nine months. Who is included in that moment is a decision most expectant mothers carefully consider.
One mom was insistent that her in-laws not be in the delivery room, but they didn’t seem to get the message.
A new mom’s in-laws completely disrespected her when they ‘barged in’ to the delivery room.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, a mom shared her story of conflict with her in-laws as she asked for advice regarding her actions.
“I … recently gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl named ‘Lily,’” she explained. “My husband … and I have been over the moon, but our joy was ruined by an incident with my in-laws that I can’t get over.
The mom stated that her husband's parents have a tendency to be “overbearing and intrusive.” Karen and Bob, as she called them, said they wanted to be in the delivery room when she gave birth. She told them no, but Karen said “she had every right to be there as the grandmother.”
“When I went into labor, my husband and I headed to the hospital,” she said. “Everything was progressing normally until I was about to start pushing. That’s when the door burst open, and Karen and Bob barged in, having lied to the nurses to gain access.”
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“I was in the middle of a contraction, in immense pain, and suddenly had my in-laws in my face, shouting ‘encouragement’ and trying to film the birth on their phones,” the mom said of the awkward situation.
“I was mortified and enraged,” she stated. “I screamed at them to get out, but they refused, saying they had a right to be there.”
Ultimately, hospital staff had to intervene to remove Karen and Bob from the room.
“This caused such a commotion that my labor stalled, and I ended up needing an emergency C-section due to the stress and delay they caused,” she said.
This poor mom’s body reacted so strongly to the stress of her in-laws trying to force their way into the delivery room that she had to have a serious medical procedure. Still, they didn’t care.
After that, she didn’t want her in-laws to have anything to do with her baby until they apologized.
“After Lily was born, Karen and Bob were unapologetic,” the mother stated, explaining that they even went so far as to post photos they took during their brief time in the delivery room on social media and share details about Lily that should have been her parents’ to share.
“I decided then and there that they wouldn’t see Lily until they showed genuine remorse and apologized,” she said.
Naturally, this did not sit well with Karen and Bob.
“When we got home from the hospital, they demanded to visit,” she said. “I told them they were not welcome and explained why.”
“They’ve since started a smear campaign against me to the rest of the family, painting me as the villain who’s keeping their grandchild away for no good reason,” she stated.
Choosing who is in the delivery room when you have a baby is very important.
According to Pamela Peterson, labor and delivery nurse at Northwell Health, “This is an important decision, so it should be done in advance and under no duress.”
Peterson went on to say, “In general, I think a smaller party is better than a huge celebration.”
Experts agree that you shouldn’t let just anyone into the delivery room with you. Instead, it’s better to really think about who you want by your side.
It sounds like this mom did exactly that, and her boundaries were violated anyway.
Her in-laws had no right to come into the delivery room without her permission. She is not in the wrong for wanting an apology.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.