Stay-At-Home Mom Says Her Pregnant Sisters And Sister-In-Law Expect Her To Watch All Of Their Babies
She can't possibly be expected to watch all of the babies by herself, but that's exactly what it sounds like.
paulaphoto / Shutterstock Some people have the mistaken belief that being a stay-at-home mom is easy. After all, you do get to stay at home all day. Sounds simple enough, right?
That isn’t the reality of the situation at all. Stay-at-home moms work hard and don’t have the bandwidth to take on the responsibility of other children. One family didn’t quite understand that.
A stay-at-home mom who was pregnant with her second child was under pressure from her sisters and sister-in-law to watch their babies as well.
A woman posted on Reddit and explained her unique and difficult situation while asking for advice.
“I am currently pregnant with my second child,” she shared. “My first child is nine. He is the only grandchild in either family at the moment. I had some infertility issues after him. I could get pregnant but miscarried pretty quickly, and after the third miscarriage, I wasn’t able to get pregnant again.”
Although this woman went through many challenges, she was lucky enough to reach a new point in her fertility journey.
“I had some depression, gained some weight, and it just sucked. Then I decided to get it back together and have lost 30 pounds, and, bam, pregnant. Weird as heck,” she stated.
The mom explained that due to childcare costs, her family decided it made more sense for her to become a stay-at-home mom, which she was fine with.
She also shared the exciting situation in her extended family. “I have two sisters that are also pregnant, and my [sister-in-law] is pregnant as well,” she said. “We are all due within about six weeks of each other. I am ridiculously excited to be having a baby and ridiculously excited that I will be an aunt.”
Unfortunately, despite her excitement, this is also where the issue comes in. “Since I am a [stay-at-home mom], everyone expects me to be the primary babysitter. I kind of assumed I would be, too,” she said. “However, I didn’t assume I would also be having one at the same time as everyone else. I kind of figured I wasn’t going to ever get pregnant again and had resigned myself to only having one. I also kind of thought it would be spaced out a little more and not all at the same time.”
Now, this mom has been left wondering if it would be okay for her not to be the “primary babysitter” or at least not to have all of that expected of her when she’ll be a new mom again.
It makes perfect sense that this woman would not watch all of the kids all at once.
Being a stay-at-home mom is no easy feat. Parenting blog Scary Mommy noted how "undervalued" the job of being a stay-at-home mom has become in our modern world.
Very Well Family pointed out that stay-at-home parents often have “adverse impacts on physical and mental health” and “increased sadness.”
Reddit commenters also mentioned how difficult this woman’s job would be as a mom to a new baby.
“If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t watch any other children the first one to three months. Enjoy bonding time and postpartum. Get in a routine first. Then tell them what days you are available/willing to help,” one person said.
“So, four infants?” someone else asked. “Alone? And recovering postpartum? I’m shocked you have to ask.”
A third person added, “You need to stand up for yourself and say no. You will have your own newborn to care for, and that is the only newborn you should be caring for.”
It’s nice of this woman to want to help her family out. However, she also has to be realistic.
Taking care of one newborn is a huge responsibility. There’s no way she could handle three other babies as well, and that’s perfectly okay.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.