Mom 'Really Upset' After Her Husband Poured Water On Their 5-Year-Old's Head As A Consequence
She felt that the punishment was a bit extreme and demeaning.
esthermoreno | Canva Pro A mom has questioned whether she's overreacting after witnessing the unusual and offensive punishment that her husband used against their child.
Posting to the subreddit r/Parenting, she revealed that her husband recently got fed up with the behavior of their child and took it upon himself to pour water on his head as a consequence of bad behavior.
A mom's husband poured water on their 5-year-old son's head after he got into a dispute with his little sister.
The mom explained that she and her husband recently had a dispute regarding the discipline tactic he used on their child.
From time to time, their 5 and 3-year-olds squabble over playing together. In one instance, their 5-year-old told his younger sister to "stop looking" at a toy.
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In response, her husband explained to the boy that while he didn't have to share the toy, he couldn't tell her where to look.
As it happens with most children, the 5-year-old completely disregarded her husband's explanation and continued to tell his sister that she wasn't allowed to look at his toy. She recalled that "out of nowhere," her husband told their son to either stop telling his sister not to look at the toy or he'd pour water on his head. She'd never heard her husband use this kind of consequence before and was incredibly shocked.
"Sure enough, about 3 seconds later, my 5-year-old again repeats to [his] little sister to stop looking at the toy. My husband swiftly grabbed the water pitcher and poured a little on [the] kiddo’s head," she wrote.
To no surprise, her son immediately got upset at having water dumped on his head, so she grabbed some towels and told her husband to clean him and the mess that was made on the floor.
After some time passed, her son eventually calmed down and even started helping his dad clean the floor. Everything seemed to move on, and her 5-year-old son wasn't perturbed by the end of the day.
Vadym Pastukh | Shutterstock
Despite her son being fine, she questioned whether she had a right to be angry about how her husband handled their kids' dispute. She pointed out that he's a great dad and has no idea where this sudden punishment came from other than him probably being fed up and overwhelmed by their kids arguing even after he told their 5-year-old son to stop.
In this case, the young boy was unharmed by the water incident, but experts agree that the bigger issue is when both parents aren't on the same page regarding discipline. Thankfully, this incident opened the door for Mom and Dad to lay out ground rules for punishments and how they want to parent moving forward.
As long as they talk through and have a solid plan that they both adhere to that is safe and healthy for the kids and they don't argue about discipline in front of the kids, they can recover from this incident without hurting their relationship.
"It’s not a natural consequence and I have no idea what lesson my kid is supposed to learn," she continued. "My husband said that [he] learned that when a parent says that there is a consequence for X behavior, the consequence is followed through. But he didn’t need to threaten [to pour] water in the first place? Or even if he had, he could have owned up to making a mistake with that threat."
People agreed that the mom wasn't being unreasonable by finding the punishment her husband used to be too much.
Pouring water on a child's head as a punishment might be a bit too extreme, especially since that child may not know why water is being poured on them. Usually, pouring water is reserved for pets, and even then, it can be a bit questionable when they're misbehaving or not listening, but for a child, that's a different story.
The better plan of action to discipline their 5-year-old for not listening would've been to remove the toy from the equation altogether, maybe put their son in a time-out for refusing to follow directions and making his sister feel bad, or separate the two siblings until their 5-year-old learned to play better that day.
Yuganov Konstantin | Shutterstock
In the comments section, people sided with the mom's stance, with one Reddit user writing, "That's a mean thing to do. Your son is learning that his dad is unsafe. And that it's okay to make other people physically uncomfortable when he wants them to do something and they don't listen."
Another user suggested that she have a conversation with her husband to understand where he was coming from so that it hopefully doesn't happen again. "I think you need to talk to your husband about it. Why did he choose that for discipline?"
"What was he hoping for the outcome to be? Does he plan to discipline like that in the future? Can you both come up with and agree upon a plan regarding discipline so this doesn’t happen again? I think those things need to be discussed."
At the end of the day, a punishment given to a child should never be humiliating, and pouring water on them as if they're a dog that's not listening is a bit cruel.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.