Mom Is Mad At Ex-Husband For Not 'Covering' For Her When She Forgot Her 12-Year-Old's Birthday
How was her inability to remember his fault?
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock Co-parenting can be extremely difficult, especially when parents don’t get along.
One former couple found themselves in an awkward situation after a woman forgot it was her daughter’s birthday and was angry that her ex-husband made no effort to cover up her mistake.
A mom got mad at her ex-husband for not helping her out when she forgot her daughter’s birthday.
A frustrated husband posted on Reddit looking for advice after his ex-wife got upset with him over something she did.
First, he provided some background information on his family.
“I used to be married a few years ago,” he shared. “It was not a happy marriage, and we divorced.”
“She needed to go back to work after the divorce, and her quality of life isn’t where it was when we were married. Due to this, she hasn’t handled the transition well, and I got primary custody. She sees them on weekends,” he continued.
Then, he came to the reason why his ex-wife was mad at him.
“It was my middle child’s birthday yesterday,” he explained. “She got zero calls from mom, no present was dropped off, and she didn’t go to the party. She was invited.”
“She is … 12-years-old and noticed right away,” he said. “She was not happy at all, and apparently, she promised her that she would at least call.”
“My daughter sent quite a mad message to her and is ignoring any messages from her mom at the moment,” he said.
Although it didn’t make much sense, this mom was mad at her ex-husband for not doing anything to help her out.
“She gave me a call, pissed. She called me a [expletive] for not reminding her at the minimum and that I could have pretended a gift was from her,” he explained.
The man stood his ground. “I told [her] it is not my problem, and it’s not my fault she can’t remember basic things,” he said.
It looks like these parents are struggling with effective co-parenting.
When co-parenting is at its best, it is two people working together as a team. These two parents don’t seem like they’re much of a team.
Furthermore, Parents said, “Parents who’ve reached a healthy level of communication know they can count on the other parent to maintain their commitments unless something extraordinary requires a change in the routine.”
If this mom really made a commitment to call on the day of her daughter’s birthday, then she should have honored that. She can’t really push that off on her ex-husband and blame him for her inability to be reliable.
Commenters agreed that the ex-husband was not in the wrong.
The man’s fellow Redditors took his side in this complicated situation and couldn’t understand his ex-wife’s reasoning.
“How is it your fault she hasn’t got her own daughter’s birthday locked in?” one person asked. “Remind her that parenting is a 50/50 job [and] you did your half. She’s just angry she dropped the ball and is looking for someone to blame due to guilt.”
“You are no longer married, nor her social secretary, nor her ‘get out of jail free’ card,” someone else pointed out. “She’s an adult, and if she disregards her kid’s birthday, it’s on her.”
A third person said, “It’s not your job to cover for her. If she can’t remember when her own child’s birthday is, then she deserves whatever ire her kid throws at her for that.”
Clearly, the general consensus is that this woman was responsible for remembering her own daughter’s birthday.
While the communication between the exes probably could have been a bit kinder on both sides, this man really did nothing wrong by not reminding his ex-wife that it was her own daughter’s birthday. It also wasn’t his job to step in and say one of the gifts was from her.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.