Mom Says She’s ‘Not Gonna Feel Bad’ For Enjoying Her Life After Her Daughter Went No Contact & Removed Herself From The Family
She claimed that while she went through a flood of emotions after her daughter left, she's now trying to move on.
Halfpoint | Shutterstock Going no contact with parents or other family members is often a difficult decision that stems from the need to set boundaries and protect one's mental health.
While adult children are the ones who often speak out about their decision to go no contact, this time, a mom named ChristyI Sable offered her side of the story and admitted that she's not going to make herself miserable trying to understand why her daughter decided to cut her and the rest of their family off.
A mom said she's 'not gonna feel bad' for enjoying her life after her daughter went no contact.
"When my youngest daughter first went no contact, I had every emotion that you can imagine. I was completely shocked. I never saw it coming. And then I was really angry," Sable began in her TikTok video. "I was so mad that she would do this to not only me but to our family. That she would leave with no explanation."
After the initial onslaught of emotion and grief about her youngest daughter's decision to cut ties with her family members, Sable admitted that she was willing to take all of the blame for her daughter's actions. She became apologetic and started thinking of all the things that she could've done differently that would've allowed her daughter to feel safe enough within their family.
Eventually, Sable's anger turned to guilt about what she did wrong and the things that she could've improved upon, but after a while, Sable explained that she just simply had to accept her daughter's decision and move on.
Sable recalled that while she didn't like her daughter's choice to not be a part of the family anymore, she had no choice but to respect it.
"As painful as that is, she has a right to decide that even if I don't like it," Sable continued. "I was not prepared for the guilt I would feel for enjoying my life and moving on without her. I mean, my life is still good, and I miss her every single day, but I'm not gonna stop living. I'm not gonna stop doing things."
The mom pointed out that she feels worse about it whenever she's booking things for the entire family to do.
While she has been attempting to live her life, Sable said that guilt ends up creeping back in when, for example, she recently bought tickets for the family to see Calloway Gardens and the Christmas lights.
Sable explained that in the past, she'd buy a ticket for her youngest daughter to come along too, but not this year.
However, Sable insisted that she refused to feel bad about it and instead was going to try and enjoy the excursions with her other children and loved ones.
"I'm not gonna feel bad about having a good time with the rest of my children and my grandchildren."
There's been a rise in adult children cutting off their parents.
In a recent study, researchers found that 26% of young adults are estranged from their fathers, and six percent are estranged from their mothers. The parents noted that these estrangements often happened without notice or explanation, leaving them feeling deeply hurt and in the dark.
Despite what many want to believe — that estrangement is becoming a peculiar fad. There's nothing easy about cutting off a family member, especially a parent.
PeopleImages | Canva Pro
"I think it relates to this new desire to have healthy relationships," Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at the Ohio State University and lead author of the study, told The Hill. "There might be some cultural shifts around people being allowed to choose who is in your family. And that can include not choosing to have the person who raised you be in your family."
It can be hard for parents to wrap their heads around the fact that their own children want nothing to do with them and are putting up these boundaries as a way to protect their well-being.
Sometimes, the only thing parents can do is accept it and move on. At the same time, they should be looking inward to figure out what role they might have played in the estrangement because sometimes, their growth and self-awareness can bring their children back.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.