Overwhelmed Mom 'Fed Up' With Family Wanting Her To 'Bring The Kids To Them' — 'It's Easier For Them To Come To Me'
She pointed out that it would make her life easier if family members came over to visit her daughter.
fizkes | Shutterstock A mom questioned if she was in the wrong when dealing with loved ones wanting to see her kids. She claimed that it's exhausting having to wrangle her kids to visit friends (and especially family members) homes when she's already feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
On top of that, trying to keep little ones entertained at homes without their toys and where dangers seem to lurk around every corner makes a visit a dreaded experience for this mom.
A mom argued if her family wanted to see her kids, they should come to her house for a visit.
In her post, the 35-year-old mom explained that she and her husband have a two-year-old daughter who often displays some neurodivergent symptoms but is still undergoing screening for autism. Because of this, and the fact that she's a toddler, their home is mostly proofed so that she can't hurt herself or damage anything.
The way their house is set up, her daughter can wander around and have fun without safety concerns. However, her parents constantly ask why they can't see their granddaughter more frequently since they live just 30 minutes away and insist that she should bring the little girl over to their house so they can spend time with her.
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Bringing her toddler to other people's homes is a stressful experience for the overwhelmed mom.
"Usually when I take her she's everywhere and I can't sit down since they have glass and decor close to the floor, not to mention my dad can't bend down to help pick things up my daughter leaves everywhere," she pointed out.
On top of her parents constantly asking to see their granddaughter, her in-laws have also been bringing up the possibility of a visit. But unlike her parents, her in-laws live in a different state, and it would be a five-hour flight to go and see them.
Instead, she argued that both her parents and in-laws, who are retired, have more than enough time to come to them if they really wanted to.
Considering her daughter's special needs, it's natural this mom wouldn't want to add any more to her plate, including carting her daughter to family members' homes without proper baby-proofing for her daughter's specific needs.
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Her solution of family visiting her house is a fair compromise. Her daughter would be more comfortable and happy, and this mom could actually enjoy the company without worrying about her daughter's safety or the possible destruction of her extended family's cherished items.
She eventually decided to take her daughter to her parents' house, which ended disastrously.
"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course, she went EVERYWHERE! Flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," she recalled. "I made sure she didn't get into glass, but I also made sure that I got time to sit down."
However, her mom immediately began berating her for allowing her daughter to "do whatever she wants," despite how much energy she put into making sure the young girl wasn't making that much of a mess.
She told her parents that the next time they wanted to see their granddaughter, they should just make the 30-minute trip to her house instead, where things are proofed, and this wouldn't be able to happen again.
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She questioned if she was being irrational for finding an issue with the expectation that she needed to bring her daughter everywhere, especially when she knew it would only end in a headache.
She wondered why people didn't just believe her when she invited them to her house as an alternative if they wanted to see her daughter.
At the end of the day, parents of toddlers have to deal with so much, and if they're providing a simple solution that would alleviate their stress, even if it's just for a couple of hours, then the people in their lives should be willing to accommodate.
When her daughter gets a bit older and learns better impulse control, the circumstances can change. The mom would be happy to drop her off for a few hours.
However, if her parents and in-laws insist their granddaughter comes over, they could take the initiative to baby-proof their homes to avoid any accidents.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.