If Your Parents Taught You These Lessons As A Kid, You're Probably A High-Achieving Adult
Parents of high achievers teach these critical lessons early.
Edmond Dantès | Pexels The other day, I took my daughter to the doctor’s office for a check-up when something happened that floored me. People came in and she said with great enthusiasm, “Hi! How are you?” She gave hugs to the nurses.
The doctor was a different story. My daughter has a fear of shots. When she gets scared, she starts whining, tears stream down her face, and she repeatedly says, “Thank you! Bye!” As if it were a mantra to get rid of the doctor.
When I took her off the table, she ran over to both doctors and gave them both a hug. When we were leaving, an older gentleman said, “We need more Daddies like you, keep it up.” I don’t mind telling you I’m proud of being told that. My wife and I are doing the right thing.
If your parents taught you these lessons as a kid, you're probably raising a high-achieving adult:
1. Humor is essential to being well-balanced
If you can’t laugh, at least at yourself, you’re missing out on the joy of life. Believe me, when you look around at the world, there is no shortage of things to laugh at. Don’t be afraid to laugh and make others laugh.
2. Love is a verb, not a noun
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See the way I’m treating Mommy, by always hugging her and telling her “I love you”? Don’t you dare settle for anything less than this for yourself when you get older and select a mate.
3. Expect respect
Anyone who does not treat you like the absolute treasure you are shouldn’t be in your life. That being said, treat everyone with respect.
4. Be courteous, unless your courtesy is not returned
Then, be indifferent until hostility greets you. Then, and only then, should you be hostile in return, and perhaps not even then.
5. Stop to smell the roses
Life is too short not to live fully. Don’t be alive for 40 years only to realize you’ve enjoyed little of it.
6. Develop a love for literature, poetry, wordplay, and language in general
You’ll find more life between the pages of a book than on reality TV. Music is also enriching.
7. Learn something new every single day
Don’t go to sleep until you do. It could be a random fact or an entirely new skill set. But never be content with knowing only what you know. You should want more for your mind.
8. Love with your whole soul and don’t apologize for it
This goes for people, interests, and everything else in your life — including yourself.
9. Listen to other people’s problems, but don't be someone's therapist
Listen if they need you, but don’t become a crutch when they have no intention of doing anything about them. Know when you’re being used and walk away from those people who use you.
10. Tell the truth
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Your mother and I will tell you the truth. The truth would be better for you to get a grip on than some kind of sugar-coated platitude designed to make you feel better.
If you’re doing something irresponsible, we’re going to call you out on it. If we see something that doesn’t make sense, we’re going to ask you about it. If you require answers, we will give them to you, provided we know them. If we don’t, we’ll either find out or point you in the direction to find out for yourself.
This applies to you as well; if we do something that seems out of line, feel free to say so.
11. Pick your battles
Some fights are not worth winning. I run a tight ship, but your mother is not to be trifled with. I’m not even remotely kidding. Let the little arguments that don't matter go.
12. Find reasons to love life
You have to find your reasons for loving it. For your mother, it’s poetry and sci-fi fantasy shows, and for me, it’s literature, writing, and music. Find your obsessions and reasons to love the life you have.
13. Be nice to animals
Sissy (our black lab/bloodhound) has protected you on more than one occasion. Animals also almost always do the right thing. If your dog doesn’t like someone, be suspicious.
14. Believe what feels right
Your mother and I are atheists. This doesn’t mean you have to be. As with everything else, follow your path. But, the other side of that is don’t insist others subscribe to your beliefs.
A true believer does not require the beliefs of others to coincide with their own. Again, respect other people.
15. Don’t believe everything your friends say
Some people just like to deceive other people. A friend of mine once sold bags of pencil shavings and said it would help the plants grow.
16. Follow your path
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Read Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” and absorb it. Just because your mother and I chose a certain path in our lives doesn’t mean you have to follow us.
Develop your values and judge things for yourself. You have an amazing gift and capacity for reason and compassion. Use it. Become what you feel you should be. If someone mocks you for it, forget it. They’ll talk about you anyway. Do what makes you happy.
17. Be true to yourself, unless experience or reason tells you differently
Fight for your viewpoint. Make arguments. Challenge authority, including your mother and me. This is perhaps one of the most important things I'd like to teach you.
18. Talk to people you trust
There is no facet, no challenge, no accomplishment, no task or point in your life that can’t be made easier, better, or more clear by having a cup of coffee and a nice conversation with someone you trust. At the end of the day, all we have as human beings is our capacity for conversation and communication.
Johnathan Bane is a musician, sexual educator, and programmer living in Tampa, Florida.
