13 Basic Things Parents Don't Realize They Have To Teach Their Kids (Because They Won’t Learn Them On Their Own)
Kids don't come with training manuals.
Levi Meir Clancy | Unsplash Having kids is a miracle, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Like when you have to clean throw-up off your new dining room table, or you have to clean crayon markings off your newly painted walls.
You can read all the parenting books you want, but some things are going to be unexpected — like the basic skills many parents don't realize they have to teach their kids.
Here are the basic things parents don't realize they have to teach their kids:
1. How to use the toilet
It wasn’t until I potty-trained my kids that I understood what makes frat houses smell so bad. Also, please teach them the gift of the Courtesy Flush: someday your kids are going to be completing Operation Dumbo Drop around people who don’t love them unconditionally.
2. How to wipe their own tush
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I knew that I’d have to potty train them, but I guess I thought they came installed with some sort of hard-wired sense of cleanliness.
3. How to look both ways
You know you’re going to have to teach them to “look both ways” but did you know that they’ll probably still walk into traffic if you’re not there to yell at them? At least for the first six years or so. Another ten years on top of that, if they’re holding an electronic device in their hands.
4. How to respect animals
I mean, really. Parents must teach their children how to interact safely and respectfully with animals. An article by the Humane Society of Western Montana explained this includes avoiding behaviors like poking, prodding, or grabbing, as these can be perceived as threats or cause harm to the dog.
5. How to change their underwear
Yes, every day. Part two of this: Take off yesterday’s pair before putting on today’s underwear. I’m not saying one of MY kids was layering three or four pairs of underwear at a time, but I’m also not saying they didn’t.
6. How to shave
Yet another thing you think they’ll just figure out on their own. But there are things grown-ups know about how to get into the tricky parts that simply cannot be figured out by a 13-year-old.
7. How to read body language
This starts around second grade. Up until then, your friends accept you for how weird you are. They like that you make thirty different bird sounds just randomly. They think your wide array of fart noises is great.
No problem that you talk to them with your face a quarter inch from their faces. They don’t mind that you just sang “Let It Go” seven hundred times on the playground and that you always demand to be Elsa.
But then second grade hits, and man-oh-man, you better learn how to read faces and body language to know when you’re starting to irritate people.
8. How to use shampoo
All those years you were shampooing them in the bath? They were not paying attention. Parents must also teach their children how to thoroughly rinse shampoo from their hair to prevent product buildup and potential skin irritation and ensure healthy hair. A 2022 study revealed that incomplete rinsing can lead to greasy or itchy scalps.
9. How to respect personal space
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It’s like my kids are playing a game of human pinball when they’re walking through public spaces. Ten points for every person you almost knock over or leave a chocolate-y handprint on.
You do have to explain to them that these people don’t want you to touch them, bump into them, crawl through their legs, or stand right next to them, breathing hard, and wiping your nose with their sleeve.
Also, just because you want to kiss that person, doesn’t mean you should. We can all name about thirty reasons why, but try telling that to a preschooler. Still, the rule stands.
10. How not to behave like they're the center of the universe
I mean, duh. But seriously, they think that. Research and parenting advice emphasizes the importance of teaching children that they are not the center of the universe. Overindulgence and constant focus on their needs can lead to entitlement, self-absorption, and difficulty navigating the real world.
11. How to leave the bag in the cereal box when you pour it
Seriously. To help kids understand why they can pour cereal directly from the bag inside the box, explain that the bag protects the cereal from moisture and keeps it fresh. You can also explain that leaving the bag in the box helps maintain the cereal's crispness.
And if you take the bag of cereal out of the box, it’ll never go back in the same way. It’s just not going to fit in the cabinet like that. Explain that the cereal box is made of cardboard, which is stiff and keeps its shape. The cereal bag, however, is made of flexible plastic or paper, which can change shape and sag.
12. How to use a microwave
Twenty minutes in the microwave is too long for oatmeal. There was a fire. And lots of smoke. All humans, animals, and property (except the microwave) escaped unharmed.
13. How to dress appropriately
You really do need to wear underwear under dresses — at least in public. I’m all about body pride. I’m 100% against body shaming. But this is about germs and other people not needing to see your bits. Cover the bits.
Joanna Schroeder is a parenting writer, editor, and media critic with bylines in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Esquire, and more. Her forthcoming book Talk To Your Boys: 16 Crucial Conversations To Have With Your Tween & Teenage Sons will be available in September 2025.
