Husband Complains That His Wife Working From Home Interrupts His Role As A Stay-At-Home Dad
It seems more like his lack of effort is interrupting her work.
Lipik Stock Media / Shutterstock It’s understandable how a stay-at-home parent might create interruptions for their work-from-home partner, but the other way around seems a bit unreasonable.
Is it really fair for a stay-at-home dad to complain about his working wife’s responsibilities interfering with his free time when she is the primary breadwinner of their home?
A mom took to Reddit to vent about her husband’s complaints regarding her work interrupting his stay-at-home-dad responsibilities.
In the since-deleted post on the r/mommit subreddit, she explained they have four kids together, and he is responsible for looking after their 2-year-old while she works during the day. While he argued that her work-from-home lifestyle interferes with his responsibilities, he doesn’t appear to be taking on too many.
She stressed her agitation with his fussing about how her work meetings disrupt his work on his car, his phone calls with friends, and his sleep schedule.
G-Stock Studio | Shutterstock
While he cooks dinner most of the time, he doesn’t appear to be contributing much else, and the balance between their responsibilities seems to be way off.
Unlike most stay-at-home parents, he doesn’t do laundry, clean, or even bathe their child. She can’t rely on him to take their kids to appointments or make sure they make it to the school bus. When he makes some income, which she said is usually only $250-$500 a month, he uses it for his personal interests.
Meanwhile, on top of her busy work schedule, the mom stated she washes the dishes, plans meals, and buys groceries. She takes care of both his and her bills, in addition to his credit card debt.
Perhaps if he was under stress due to the workload he’s managing on his own while she works, then his complaints might be understandable. But based on the mom’s description of his stay-at-home lifestyle, she takes care of mostly everything without any complaints. Understandably, her patience is running thin.
She asked how to navigate her intense emotions regarding her husband’s selfish perspective.
The mom added how on Mother’s Day, a day meant to honor and appreciate her, her husband chose to sleep in and didn’t even bother to plan anything special for her.
“One of my daughters tried so hard to help me make a great breakfast and made a card (love her so much),” the mom wrote. “I planned activities and bought take out, then cleaned dishes after. He would not even eat breakfast because he's not a breakfast person and wouldn't sit with us.”
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
She conveyed her sadness over his persistent lack of effort and appreciation despite everything she does and his audacity in complaining about how her work disrupts his peace.
She said she is expected to organize his birthday and Father’s Day, even though she herself had to plan her own birthday and Mother’s Day.
“I hate my husband. Honestly, I don't want to, but I do,” she wrote with transparency. “I am fed up. Mad. I want more for me and my four kids.”
In her defense, she deserves better.
Most full-time working parents are lucky to find partners willing to take care of everything else at home so they don’t have to. And while this traditional dynamic is not for everyone, it works for many.
Additionally, stay-at-home parents should not be expected to take on every household task and responsibility on their own, but there should definitely be some kind of balance.
However, it seems this full-time working mom is primarily responsible for everything while her husband does as he pleases. While they should be operating as a team and balancing their collective responsibilities fairly, his behavior indicates that he is reliant on her to take care of everything, and he doesn’t seem to appropriately value her presence or dedication in their family.
In fact, research from 2023 indicates that her husband's ambivalence could actually be impacting more than their relationship. It could be having a negative effect on her physical health. Researchers found that women who felt supported in their marriages by their husbands had lower blood pressure than wives with husbands who did not have clear roles and boundaries for contributing to the household.
On a side note, she added how he cheated on her various times years ago, and she still harbors resentment for this, which might explain her anger and frustration.
Reddit users argued the husband does not deserve his wife and she should consider leaving him.
Many commenters thought that the woman was living as a married, single mom. They argued she might be better off leaving him since she's doing all the work anyway.
“He doesn’t respect you, doesn’t help at all around the house, doesn’t work AND cheats on you? So why are you single-parenting while being married to him?” one individual pointed out. “Cut the dead weight and be a real single mother. He’s useless!”
While there may be more details to the story, the mom’s experience is sadly common for many women, and it isn’t hard to believe that her husband is likely leeching onto her for comfort and security. Many Reddit users agreed that the mom would be much happier if she left her husband and looked into hiring a nanny, who would probably cost her less in aggravation and offer much more support.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock
“Definitely close the tap, close all joint accounts, and keep your money. People who do not contribute do not get to waste your money,” someone advised in the comments. “I’m so mad reading this (because I had one of these, but I kicked him out, and it’s sooooooooo much better! You will be able to breathe again! You got this!!!”
“He is not a stay-at-home dad. He is someone who has learned you are easy to take advantage of and will continue to let him do so indefinitely even when he does under the bare minimum,” another person shared. “A marriage is a partnership, he is your husband but is acting like another child.”
Parents should always work together, not against each other.
The mom can consider communicating these concerns with her husband and offer him the chance to step it up. But considering his selfish and ungrateful actions so far, she might be better off leaving him altogether and focusing on herself and her kids. She does not deserve the extra headache of a grown man leaning on her, in addition to her four kids.
Being a stay-at-home parent can be stressful in its own right, but that does not warrant complaining about how their partner’s work disturbs them, especially when that partner does everything for them. That’s not feeling overwhelmed; that’s being one-sided and irrational.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.