You’re Doing A Phenomenal Job Raising Your Kids If You Put Your Phone Down In These 5 Situations
The best time to be on the phone is when the kids go to sleep!
Liderina | Shutterstock While every parent deserves downtime to lie back and scroll on their phones, there's a time and a place. That place should definitely not interfere with important parenting and family bonding time.
According to parenting coach Fadekemi Adeniyi, parents should make a conscious effort to avoid being on their phones during specific moments in their child’s day. Often, these moments are more crucial than moms and dads realize.
You’re doing a phenomenal job raising your kids if you put your phone down during these five situations:
1. When your child wakes up in the morning
Adeniyi stressed that greeting your child when they first wake is one of the most important parts of their day. “When you're seeing your child for the first time in the morning, drop your phone,” she urged fellow parents. “Let your eyes light up. The way you react to seeing them now is the way they see themselves.”
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This can significantly increase their confidence because you are showing them they are your number one priority. The message comes across clearer when there isn’t a phone in the way.
2. When you’re separating for the day
Whether it’s dropping your kids off at school, a parent going to work, or anything that involves parent-child separation for a period of time, Adeniyi said it's a moment where a parent should be fully present and avoid looking at their phone. “Whatever you say to them [in that moment] sticks with them throughout the day,” she said.
If your children are prone to separation anxiety, they may want your full attention before you need to part ways. They need a hug, reassurance, and a kiss goodbye. It can be difficult for parents to provide them with that when they are consumed by their phones.
3. When you reunite with them
Just like when saying goodbye, children prefer it when they’re able to look into their parents' eyes and give them a bear-hug hello without the distraction of phones. This moment of undivided attention is incredibly meaningful to children as it allows them to feel truly seen and valued.
Research has shown that by bringing their full attention to these interactions, parents may perceive their children's thoughts and feelings more accurately, which in turn may reduce stress and strengthen their bond.
4. When you’re all eating together as a family
Amid the chaos of everyday life, in some families, the only time they are able to see each other and have a genuine conversation is when they all sit down together for a meal. Not only is it a perfect time to catch up and connect with your children but also to teach them about table etiquette, which includes putting your phone down and listening and contributing to the discussion.
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Children learn best through observation, and they mimic the behavior they see their parents demonstrating.“What you do is what they would do. So drop your phone. They are watching you,” Adeniyi said. “Model the behavior you want to see in your child. Connect and talk together at the table. Don't be staring at your phone when it's a good time to bond with your family.”
5. When your child is about to go to bed
Bedtime is an ideal time to connect with kids and catch up on anything you may have missed during the day. “Maybe you've gotten angry at them or scolded them [during the day]. This is time to connect with them,” Adeniyi explained.
Before actually putting them to bed, Adeniyi encouraged parents to ditch their phones and connect with their kids face to face, whether by reading a story to them or sharing in a snuggle. Once they are down for the night, parents can catch up on all the screen time they want!
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.